What Is Art? Follow-Up: What Is Porn?

What Is Art? Follow-Up: What Is Porn?


FOLKS, YOU KNOW, I DON’T KNOW A
LOT ABOUT ART BUT I KNOW WHAT I LIKE. AND IT’S ART. AND I MEAN ALL KINDS OF ART. CLASSICAL, RENAISSANCE, ALFREDO. IN FACT, I CONSIDER MYSELF
SOMETHING OF AN ART COLLECTOR. HAVE I A WHOLE PAN TREE FULL OF
WARHOLS. SO OF COURSE I WAS VERY
INTERESTED TO HEAR THE HUGE NEWS FROM THE ART WORLD THIS WEEK. MOD MODIGLIANI PAINTING
RECLINING NUDE SOLD FOR 170 MILLION AT YISIES, THAT MAY SEEM
LIKE A LOT BUT REMEMBER, IT COMES WITH THE FRAME. THAT’S WHERE THEY GET YOU. RECLINING NUDE IS CONSIDERED ONE
OF MODIGLIANI’S FINEST WORKS AND IS OFTEN REFERRED TO BY ITS
FRENCH TITLE “NEW COOCHIE” I’M GOING TO SAY, NOT SURE IF I CAN
SAY THAT ON CBS. NOT EVEN SURE I CAN SHOW THE
PAINTING BECAUSE BLOOMBERG TV COULDN’T.>>CHINESE BILL YR LU YIGIAN
PURCHASED MODIGLIANI NU COUCHE WHICH IS NUDE LYING DOWN FOR A
RECORD-BREAKING $170 MILLION.>>WE HAD TO BLUR THE
MODIGLIANI.>>WE DIDN’T SHOW THE WHOLE
PICTURE.>>IT WAS TOO RACY.>>Stephen: YES, TOO RACY. THEY BLURD THE PORTRAIT WHICH IS
A HUGE RELIEF BECAUSE FOR JUST ONE MOMENT I THOUGHT SOMEONE HAD
ACTUALLY SMUJED IT. OH, I’M SO SORRY, IT’S CROWDED
HERE IN CHRISTIES AND I BRUSHED UP AGAINST YOUR PAINTING. HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU. OH MY GOD! WELL, THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME
THE NEWS HAS DETITILLATED ART. BECAUSE EARLIER THIS YEAR WHEN A
PICASSO SOLD FOR A WORLD RECORD $180 MILLION, IT WAS REPORTED ON
THE NEWS LIKE THIS. NOW I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHY THEY
DID THAT BECAUSE HERE IT IS UNBLURRED. AND IT’S STILL HARD TO TELL
WHERE THE NAUGHTY PARTS ARE. SO LET’S TRY TO COUNT HERE,
LET’S SEE, TWO OVER THERE ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE– THERE’S
LIKE EIGHT AND A HALF BOOBS IN THERE. BUT SEEING JOURNALIST COVER A
FINE ART LIKE THIS BRINGS UP ALL SORTS OF INTERESTING QUESTIONS. LIKE WHAT IS ART? WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE
BETWEEN ART AND PORNOGRAPHY. AND WHAT IF THAT LINE LOOKS LIKE
A BUTT CRACK, RIGHT THERE. WHY DIDN’T THE NEWS BLUR THIS? BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, WHAT CAN I
GET AWAY WITH SLOWING ON CBS? FOR EXAMPLE, EVERYTHING I’M
ABOUT TO TELL SU TRUE. THE NETWORK CENSORS SAID I
CANNOT SHOI THE FULL MODIGLIANI. AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE TO BLUR
BOTH HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH. (LAUGHTER)
YOU SEE THE– THE WHOLE THING, SEE THE WHOLE THING, YOU HAVE TO
HAVE 170 MILLION DOLLARS OR THE INTERNET. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE NETWORK
SAYS CAN I SHOW YOU BOTTICELLI’S BIRTH OF VENUS. LOOK AT THAT, FULLY SHUCKED ON
THE HALF SHELL. THOSE FOLKS ON THE SIDE ARE THE
159 CENTURY CENSORS TRYING TO COVER HER UP. CBS EVEN SAID WE COULD AIR RAW
UNCENSORED GEORGIA O’KEEFFE. WOW, THAT IS CLEARLY THE SEX
ORGANS OF A FLOWER AND IF THERE IS YOUNG ORCHID IN THE ROOM
WATCHING WITH YOU RIGHT NOW, PLEASE, COVER THEIR STAMEN. NOW AGAIN, THIS NEXT, THE RULES
GET TRICKY WHEN IT COMES TO MICHELANGELO’S ICONIC STATUE OF
THE DAVID WHICH WILL YOU NOTICE I’M NOT SHOWING YOU YET. THAT IS BECAUSE I’M ALLOWED TO
DISPLAY ONLY A DISTANT PICTURE OF THE DAVID FOR, AND THIS IS
ABSOLUTELY TRUE, A TOTAL OF TWO SECONDS, SO BRAIS YOURSELVES FOR
SOME FULL FRONTDAL CULTURE. ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, ART. ONE PENISSIPPI, TWO PENISSIPPI
GONE. (APPLAUSE)
YAZ CRAZY! WE ARE. I JUST HOPE TO GOD NO ONE EVER
INVENTS A WAY TO PAUSE TELEVISION. (LAUGHTER)
WHAT WILL IT DO TO THE CHILDREN. BY THE WAY, I KNOW THE STATUE OF
THE DAVID HAS A BARE SLINGSHOT BUT YOU’RE NOT MISSING MUCH. LET’S JUST SAY IT WAS PRETTY
COLD IN 16th CENTURY FLORENCE. ANYWAY, ALL THIS SEEMS SO
ARBITRARY– ARBITRARY, BUT MOST ARBITRARY OF ALL, I’M APPARENTLY
NOT ALLOWED TO SHOW YOU THIS FOLLOWING THING, OKAY. LET’S TAKE ONE SECRETARY HERE. OKAY. HERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT. I’M NOT ALLOWED TO SHOW YOU THIS
DRAWING I’M ABOUT TO MAKE OF TWO FEMALE BREASTS. HERE WE GO. (LAUGHTER)
OKAY. THEY HAVE TO BE BLURRED, ALL
RIGHT? UNLESS I REVEAL THAT THEY ARE
REALLY JUST THE EYES OF A SMILING MAN. LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS. (APPLAUSE)
AND WHY IS HE SO HAPPY? BECAUSE HIS EYES ARE MADE OF
BREASTS. (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE) SO UNTIL ALL THIS CONTROVERSY
OVER WHAT IS TOO RACY TO BE CONSIDERED ART IS SETTLED, I
SHOULD PROBABLY JUST STAY SAFE AND STICK WITH WHAT IS ALLOWED
ON NETWORK TV. POLICE PROCEDURALS WHERE THEY
STACK UP DEAD HOOKERS LIKE CORD

100 thoughts on “What Is Art? Follow-Up: What Is Porn?”

  1. Great clip… Johnny Carson never broached this topic.  Neither Jay Leno.  Stephen is the goose that lays golden eggs for CBS.

  2. Stephen,
    I thought you were bigger than being an unconscious Trump hater.
    I loved the Colbert Report and my views will always side on that of
    liberals.
    But the "Late Show" should be more than a president-bashing free-for-all
    for the sake of your own jokes or humiliating other people. If you're
    so big, you wouldn't be spending so much time hating on a concept that
    you're clearly displaying that you're mind cannot accept.
    Yeah, I didn't want Trump or Clinton to be president, but honestly, as a
    liberal, I still stand by the fact that we got the lesser of 2 evils.
    You're officially more of a child than Trump.
    Get it together man. You've become a stooge.
    Your show has been officially boycotted by me.
    You've been given an honor.
    A privilege.
    Yet, you're clearly handing the spotlight to Trump's presidency.
    If you hate Trump so much and honestly think your fans do, then STOP
    MAKING HIM THE TOPIC OF EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR SHOWS!!
    You, sir, have failed me.
    If your intention is to convince me that Trump is a terrible human
    being, like your followers ALREADY stand by, take notes from your Daily
    Show friend John Oliver and form an intelligent philosophical
    perspective, using empirical data to form a strong base of evidence for
    your "jokes" that you disguise as artistic brilliance.
    Letterman was in tune with himself and understood the importance of
    humility.
    If you just keep trying to beat Trump at his own game, you're no better
    than he is.

    Real Talk,
    DP

  3. The fake laughter is a total turn-off. And yes, it is fake. Either totally canned or enhanced with laugh track.

  4. People and their fear, disgust, shame, etc of the human body and natural bodily functions like peeing in the woods or breast feeding a child are just ridiculous. lol

  5. I would love to se an America family visiting Rome… and see them have a stroke at every 5 steps lol Dumb as trains lol…

  6. "What would it do to the children?" Educate and culture them. Hope CBS doesn't have shows with murders in them. It would be a hell of a statement to portray lives ending, but not the anatomy we all have involved in starting them.

  7. He pretends to flip through the sketchbook looking for the right page, then settles on the very first page, which is blank.

  8. American culture is so weird. Excessive violence is ok on TV, but a little nudity and they freak the fuck out? That's so psychologically unhealthy.

  9. as an artist in America who's town has a store called "guns, fishin and other stuff" I to can only quote Bruce Campbell who said it's more acceptable to cut off a boob and it is the kiss one on screen.

  10. Whatever happened to these segments? I don't live in the us and don't know if these are still in the full show, can anyone lemme know?

  11. There I was… being happy about killing the general and still having half of my life… and there I was killed by his next attack …

  12. When I was in college for art most of my professors defined porn in art this way. If they are having fun=porn. Nude but bored=tasteful. It's humorous to me. But it works

  13. Thanks Stephen for exposing stupid censorship' It's alright to show killing, but not making love. I heard that in my youth and it still amazes me. I grew up with George's seven words. He's my hero. Rest his atheist soul just like mine eventually. Religion is the worst thing that ever happened to humanity and humanity may perish because of it.

  14. America– where you can show a bullet ripping into a covered breast, but the sight of an ordinary, bare breast is too graphic. We're fine with portrayals of blood and violence, but our own bodies? Icky!

  15. America gotta be the shittiest Empire to exist to this day XD like, the most dumbass people AHAHAHAHA

  16. Thanks The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.:) "Ecru-blu Smoochie"?!:D Ohoho Crikeys These'r Flat PERVERTED Folks?!:D

  17. remember folks… female bodies are icky and evil and promote sinful thoughts and actions of poor defenseless men. I hope everyone is offended. Men can control themselves and women aren't naturally evil. Wooo… controversy…

  18. Guys seriously!!! What happens next, will art galleries and museums be R-rated? How sick and far have we gone. Next thing we'll know David will have to be removed from the place it stands in Italy.

  19. I laughed so hard at this. As a model, one of the sites where I would post my work (a site aimed at modeling, mind you) once forced me to label one of my shots as "Mature" content, because it showed me wearing jeans and no shirt, with my back to the camera. MY BACK. There wasn't even any sideboob visible! I accepted the restriction, but politely asked the admins why my bare back was considered "Mature". They informed me that it was because "it's obvious to the viewer that your breasts are exposed." I love America, but our censorship rules are ridiculous. And as a final note, God help you if you try to show anybody breastfeeding . . .

  20. usually I am not the one to judge. But if you will cover all the nips and other parts…. would not be the result same as with war on drugs? we can show much more here in Europe 😉 come here and have fun (and relax from all the Trump news 😉

  21. 😅Also, I know of Gorgia Okif (I guess that's how you spell her name {?} [too lazy to Google it]) from Breaking Bad 😘(Jesse!)🙌

  22. Can´t show 2 circles with a point in it almost before midnight? Wow in our TV Landscape you see boobs alle day 😉

  23. Those who voted for a conservative for a reaction to the "pc" culture is in the same boat as the "decency" conservatives

  24. so stupid it's ok to watch violence and murder but it's not ok to see art and nudity which we see ever damn day when we get dressed and bathe!

  25. can't see THE DAVID on the tube is disgraceful america———-let's fix it.
    freedom and liberty

  26. I really don't get the point.. According to this logic, shouldn't parents not be allowed to take their children to museums? Have some kind of age restriction or something… It would be absurd

  27. Most of the comments here are about the sexuality on TV. No one seems to care that some lunatic payed 170 millions for picture of naked woman. They are calling it art just because the guy who painted it is famous. If i painted it no one would care…

  28. why would I buy a stupid painting of a nude " whoman " with 107mil ,like u hang it and bang it or what ?! fucking disgusting artists and disgusting humans!! with that kind of money u can start a charity for hungery people!!

  29. Well i think the ancient pictures are nice, but the porn that the kids see in the internet is really bad and the worst thing.

  30. Rule of art is: the uglier it is, the more rich White people are willing to pay for it. Art for art sake indeed. Or rather, art for the sake of whatever it is that rich white people define as art.

  31. AMERICA: THE COUNTRY WERE EVERYBODY IS SO UNCONFORTABLE WITH SEXUALITY (and language to some extent) SO THEY MAKE IT UP WITH EXTREME VIOLENCE!

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