That Song In Every Musical That No One Likes – Sarah Smallwood Parsons

That Song In Every Musical That No One Likes – Sarah Smallwood Parsons


This is the song in every show That no one likes, because its boring A song like Sentimental Man, or Mr. Cellophane or…look that woman’s almost snoring I’m usually an older man Who wears suspenders and is lonely My range is limited and so The next three minutes will pass SLOWLY So if you have the tiniest suspicion That you should have peed when it was intermission Now is the time, you won’t miss much Oh, wait, here comes my Sort of, high nooooote! This is the song That no one likes Leading lady! Wait! Listen, leading lady I may just be a father, uh, a husband uh, a mayor or something, I don’t know But the important thing is I.. am not important I’m just an old Broadway legend who wanted a role where, I got to sing but I also got to sit down a lot That’s why five people clapped so loud when I walked out This the song where you can cough! So everybody get your coughs out Or you can whisper, “What’s the time?” “Where are we eating after this?” “Maybe we should just do take-out” Is this song even on the soundtrack? Not sure You skip it every time I’m sure they’d cut it but the leads are backstage changing, and they need a lot of time I’m also a veteran And sure, we all get claps at curtain call But once you leave, you won’t remember me at all And at the stage door, I’ll arrive and you may ask me for a photo But you’ll mean that you want ME to hold the phone Leading lady, wait! I want to give this to you It’s that pocket watch I mentioned SO briefly in the first scene It’s not a metaphor or an alegory or anything I just really don’t want to carry it around anymore Oh by the way, do you want to see my tap dance? That’s literally the whole thing They say you can’t enjoy the highs of life without the lows but Jesus this song blows

100 thoughts on “That Song In Every Musical That No One Likes – Sarah Smallwood Parsons”

  1. LYRICS:
    This is the song in every show,
    That no one likes because it’s boring.
    A song like “Sentimental Man”
    Or Mr. Cellophane”, or- look, that woman’s almost snoring.
    I’m usually an older man,
    Who wears suspenders and is lonely..
    My range is limited and so, the next three minutes will pass; slowly
    So if you have the tiniest suspicion,
    That you should’ve peed when it was intermission,
    Now is the time. You won’t miss much.
    Oh wait here comes my, sort of,
    H i g h n o t e ~
    This is the song that no one likes!!
    Leading lady- wait! Listen leading lady, I may just be your father, or a husband, a mayor or something? I don’t know, but the important thing is that I, am not important. I’m just an old Broadway legend who wanted a role where I got to sing, but I also got to sit down a lot. That’s why five people clapped so loud when I walked out.
    This is the song where you can cough!
    So everybody get’ cha coughs out!
    Or you can whisper: “what’s the time?”
    “Where are we eating after this?”
    Maybe we should just do takeout!
    Is this song even on the soundtrack?
    Not sure, you skip it every time.
    I’m sure they’d cut it, but the leads are backstage changing and they, need a lot of time..
    …I’m also a veteran.
    And surely I’ll get claps at curtain call,
    But once you leave you won’t remember me at all.
    And at the stage door, I’ll arrive.
    And you may ask me for a photo,
    But you’ll may want me to hold the phone.
    Leading lady wait! I wanna give this to you. It’s that pocket watch I mentioned so briefly in the first scene. It’s not a metaphor or an allegory or anything, I just really don’t wanna carry it around anymore. Oh by the way, do you wanna see my tap dance? That’s literally the whole thing.
    They say you can’t enjoy the highs of life without the lows,
    But Jesus, this song blows!
    Alright uh, I’m not in the rest of the show so I’m gonna go beat the traffic.

  2. Well done sarah Smallwood parsons! This is the first video of yours I see but I found it so funny, despite not being a big fan of musicals! I'm especially grateful that your video made me laugh during a tough time 💙

  3. The guy laughing in the audience reminds me of my sister’s ex-boyfriend who cackled during plays and musicals a lot. His brother was always in them and he found them super funny so he laughed as hard as he could because it was hilarious to him. I kind of miss going to plays with him because it was very funny to listen to. He’s still a good friend of my sister’s, but he lives in a different state at the moment and rarely hangs out with us currently.

  4. I know nothing about theatre tropes so what I’m gathering from the comments is that this type of character/song is common?? That’s sad :c

  5. I fundimentally don't like musicals.

    the songs and choreography distract from the story.
    The writeing is artifically restrained by the need to rhyme.
    And instead of moveing into and out of an emotional moment organicaly the songs reitrate points that had just been established.

  6. take it from an old man is a little slow and drawn out. it was always my skip song while listening to musicals. but when i actually saw waitress i was SOBBING

  7. “that’s literally the whole thing”
    audience:laughs but calms down after a bit
    the one guy after 3 seconds of quiet: HAAHAHAHAAA

  8. The teacher's song in Mathilda. Watched that back in 2015 and quite literally fell asleep through it, before being woken up with a startle as the next scene started with thunder and lightning XD

  9. Mr.Cellophane is a banger tho
    The audience never cheered so much during the whole show… Well except when Amos left without exit music. A thunder of applause (and a few screams!) from what was a very quiet and polite audience!

  10. Trying to think what the Legally Blonde one is. The character equivalent is definitely Professor Callahan but his song is SO GOOD (Blood in the Water)… I guess the song I always skip is Take It Like a Man?

  11. I opened this expecting one of those video essays where it's discussed as a trope that pops up a lot, coz I wanna get more into musicals. I wasn't expecting to be laughing, and I wasn't expecting That Guy lol sounds like he's fresh from E3 or something, I adore his joy ^_^

  12. Me: She won't dare say something about "something bad" I don't know why some people skip it all Wicked songs are masterpieces .

    Her: That no one likes because it's boring, a song like sentimental man .

    Also me: Ok that's a good point.

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