Music and Expressive Therapies

Music and Expressive Therapies


Athena: Aloha everyone and thank you so much
for tuning into another week of Trauma Recovery University. I’m your host Athena Moberg and your amazing
co-host Bobbi Parish is here with me as well. I want to say a very special welcome to all
of you who show up early and just support one another in your recovery journeys here
at Trauma Recovery University. This is one of three Twitter chats that we
have every single week. This one has a live Q&A video component to
it so if you are here on YouTube, awesome. If you’re on our Roku TV channel, welcome. If you’re here on Google, we are happy that
you’re here. If you are listening on a podcast platform
such as iTunes, Stitcher, Spreaker, SoundCloud or even I Heart Radio, we want to kindly remind
you that this is a video broadcast. We would love to welcome you over and invite
you to come and join all of us. Bobbi, I have a new number of countries where
I’m going to surprise you right now. So Trauma Recovery University, we are a global
support group that meet up on Twitter, YouTube and Facebook and we are in over 70 countries
and we’re humbled by that. So welcome to all of you. We are currently in the process of transitioning
and getting all of our resources translated into other languages for all of you that do
not speak English as your native tongue. So I want to invite anyone listening on a
podcast platform to go head on over to nomoreshameproject.com or traumarecoveryuniversity.com and just go
ahead and watch some videos and if you would like access to our complimentary OnePage resource
which is downloadable and it’s a PDF so it will be accessible and readable on any mobile
device or any computer anywhere or any tablet, you can get that by clicking on the Downloadables
tab on one of our websites traumarecoveryuniversity.com or nomoreshameproject.com and that’s just
free. We just want to say thank you. It’s sort of our weekly blog post if you will
and it is a OnePage resource that sort of encompasses everything that we will be discussing
tonight here on Trauma Recovery University. Every week we show up here, we do a live Q
and A with Twitter with you, you tweet your questions to us, you tag us @AthenaMoberg,
@BobbiLParish and use the hash tag #nomoreshame. We answer your questions and every week we
have a different topic. That is sort of how this all works. This week’s topic is one of my favorites of
all time over the couple years that we’ve been doing this and it is music and expressive
therapies to aid our recovery journey. So music and expressive therapies are different
in that they don’t follow the same guidelines as talk therapy. Talk therapy is so powerful and there are
tons of modalities out there. There’s neurolinguistic programming, cognitive
behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy. There are so many different talk therapies
out there and different modalities that include speaking, using our voice and it’s so, so,
so, so healing. There are however ways that we can express
ourselves in art or listening to music or plain music dance or even having a pet or
a dog that is trying to be a PTSD service dog or even equine therapy which my girlfriend
Julie is actively involved in. She lives in Washington. So all of these, we’re going to be unpacking
and talk about tonight and it’s all pertaining to you, the adult survivor of child abuse
specifically childhood sexual abuse. Bobbi and myself are both survivors of childhood
sexual abuse and we show up here every single week and we share our recovery journey with
you because that’s what we’ve chosen to do and over the course of the last couple of
years we’ve invited several hundred even probably a thousand people close to a thousand people
to join us in healing in safe community whether that’s in the YouTube comments on the videos,
watching the Roku TV channel, coming into a private secret Facebook support group to
heal among other survivors free from predators, zero tolerance policy, no abuse, no minimization
allowed, just you and other people healing. So that’s who we are, that’s what we’re about
and it is my privilege and my honor to show up here every single week to support you,
the survivor, and just share humor and tools and education and resources and some laughs
along the way because if you can’t laugh and oh my goodness gracious we’ve been through
so much, we need to find a way to laugh. So we show up here every single week and you
are the reason we show up. We are honored and privileged to be here on
your recovery journey with you. Thank you for being here. I’m going to turn this over to my amazing
partner Bobbi Parrish who is I’m sure feverishly and amazingly tweeting every single person
that is out there here to support. So I’ll take the Twitter stream over for you
like Bobbi and Bobbi will share all kinds of really fun amazing announcements with you
right now. Take it away Bobbi. Bobbi: Hi everybody. I’m so glad that you’re here. We are just honored that you choose to spend
an hour or a little more than an hour of your week with us or if you’re sitting home binge
watching these episodes or listening on a podcast, however you’re are, we’re honored
that you’re here. I want to issue first and foremost a big trigger
warning because this is a video podcast, live broadcast that discusses childhood abuse and
so please practice excellent self care. Take care of yourself. If you get triggered, just step away. It’s no big deal. The broadcasts will be here as podcast as
videos up on You Tube within a matter of a couple of hours and you’ll be able to come
back to them so don’t hesitate to just walk away. We don’t want you to watch when you’re feeling
distressed at all. If you are in crisis right now or you need
help urgently and you’re in the US or Canada, we encourage you to reach out to our friends
RAINN. RAINN is the rape abused Incest National Network
and it is available at 1800-656-HOPE. You can also reach out to them on their website. They have a crisis chat featured and that
is available twenty four hours a day, seven days a week and their website is rainn.org. If you are in the UK, you can reach out to
the Samaritans. The Samaritans are available at 116-123. They also have support via email and you can
email them at [email protected] You can also get support from the Samaritans
via text and that number is 0775909090. If you are in Australia which is our next
largest growing community of survivors, your national hotline number is 13-11-14. And yay, we’re in 70 countries now and as
we get larger groups of people in different countries, we will give you the crisis and
hotline numbers for those countries as well. If you want to, feel free to tweet them to
us or however it is you want to get them to us so we can share them with survivors from
around the world. Athena: I just wanted to say a very special
shout out to Tiffany and Mia. Tiffany is joining us for the very first time
and I noticing that Mia is joining us as well. Mia lives with Matt and she is a feline but
Tiffany is human. Tiffany is human and I would like to say very
special welcome to Tiffany Jenkins because it’s her very first time my Twitter and her
very first time joining us live. So welcome, welcome, welcome. Please continue. Bobbi: Hi Tiffany. I saw a picture of Matt’s cat Mia. She is gorgeous. Athena and I have been very hard at work on
a special project that we are going to announce sometime here in the next hopefully two weeks. So we want you, I used to teach kindergarten
and so I would tell my students to put on their listening ears. So put on your Twitter and Facebook listening
ears over the next couple of weeks because we have a phenomenal announcement. Athena and I, I think we share this with you
before when we started this. Oh gosh I think I counted the other day twenty
months ago. We had grand visions and we had both had such
difficult recoveries, just gut wrenching hard recovery because there were so few resources
for survivors, so little education out there for survivors about what trauma is and how
it affects us and so little support. Here’s a therapy appointment maybe every
two weeks and just on your own and get better. It took us a long time and it was so hard
and so we came together in an effort to put together something that would make other people’s
journeys easier and we had grand visions and we just kept telling ourselves as things got
hard and the few times that we thought why do we keep doing this, that we are just two
girls with laptops sitting in our living rooms trying to change the world and we finally
really, really, really get in there and so this announcement that we’re going to make
is going to be amazing and it is really a next step in us changing world for survivors
everywhere so that you have education, you have knowledge, you have support at your fingertips
twenty four seven, three sixty five. So stay tuned and be on the watch and as soon
as we can make our announcement, we will be making the announcement on Twitter and Facebook
and if you live within about five hundred miles of either one of us do you may very
well hear a screaming in our living rooms or with our laptops. Athena: Yes. I have people who will likely hear me over
on the island of Oahu even though I live on Maui. I’m so excited to be on this journey with
all of you guys. Bobbi and I, like she was just saying, are
just we’re beyond the realm to be here with you and we’re not here ever saying, we have
it all figured out. You guys are broken and I know that sounds
like I’m saying it in jest but a lot of places you go online regardless of what it is you’re
looking for, the Guru and the expert in everything or they have it all figured out and you’re
the one that screwed up and coming into a place like this with us, where we’re all on
a very, very, very painful recovery journey. We’re not talking about like we’re not here
to tell you about the next best widget or plugin or book or I don’t know. I’m trying to think of stuff that people sell
online or whatever but we’re here to just show up and support you and it’s an honor
and it’s a privilege and we’re just so, so that we get to do life with you guys and that’s
what we do. We’re showing up here doing life with you
guys. And we’re blessed. We’re count ourselves blessed and fortunate
to be here with you guys. Bobbi, could you possibly have imagined when
we like you were talking about a minute ago when we first started. We had all these visions of grandeur with
on our laptops in our living rooms trying to change the world, could you have ever imagined
that we would reach seventy countries? Bobbi: No. Athena: I don’t think that I dared to dream
that big. In fact I have an issue with dream. I always wonder like am I dreaming to big. I help my girlfriend, you guys have heard
me tell you this before but I helped my girlfriend Victoria start a cinnamon roll business and
we were training for a marathon together. She is my marathon buddy and I helped her
start her cinnamon business and it was just sort of like this like symbiotic relationship
it was cool but she asked me to dream really, really, really big and if I could have anything
with her business launching and I could like maybe become like business partners or do
something with her someday or whatever, what would my big dream be and my dream was to
have a gym membership. Bobbi: Wow. Athena: That was my big dream. I wanted a gym membership because it had been
a really long time since I had a gym membership and I didn’t make enough money for a long,
long time to have my own gym membership and so I wanted a gym membership and that was
my big, big dream and she was like looking at me, are you kidding, are you joking. She thought I was joking and I wasn’t. Survivors have a hard time seeing the forest
through the trees and we can’t see the big expansive world out there of what we could
possibly accomplish, what we were purpose for, what we were created to be, the goals
we have, the dreams we have, we can’t even see past. Oh my gosh I hope I don’t have another panic
attack today. Oh my gosh my PTSD is flaring up so bad. My anxiety is off the charts right now and
I have to go to the market and I have to buy food and I have to have the bank and I can’t
stand going the bank and I have to go the post office and I hate the post office and
oh my gosh it’s just crazy and there aren’t even words to describe all of the things that
are going through our head. It is a perfect segue to tonight’s topic which
is sometimes just getting messy with some art or listening to some music super duper
loud or getting a musical instrument and trying it for the first time and like doing the little
demo keys that they have and all the stuff like just somehow expressing yourself in a
way, immersing yourself in something that doesn’t require words, it is therapeutic. It is a life changing and it is often lifesaving. So buckle your seat belts because it is going
to be a really, really, really fun one. If you are not here live and you’re not hanging
out with us, tweeting and asking questions and you’re like good bored girl just shut
up and get to the point, then down below here right above the comment section in the bottom
of the description section on the replay in 24 hours or so you will see a link that says
if you’re here for the replay and you’re not here alive and you don’t want to hear
us talk, click on the number and it will fast forward you just to our downloadable OnePage
resource content that we do want to screen share. So you don’t have to listen to us talk, just
an enhancement for you folks that are not here live. So again, you can get access to that complimentary
OnePage downloadable resource over at traumarecoveryuniversity.com. Click on Downloadables and it’ll ask you for
your email address, send you access, boom you’re in and you can have access to the
whole library. There is like a hundred hours of resources
on videos and there’s almost one hundred OnePages. So yeah, this is going to be exciting. Bobbi, is there anything that we want to talk
about or share? I thought chat was particularly exciting this
morning and I wanted to even though we invite people at the end of the broadcast to come
and join us on our weekly Twitter chat, I think I would love to hear you talk about
the magic that was this morning when people from the UK and the United States and Ireland
and other places came and joined in on our chat this morning that we have every week
and just the collaboration of beautiful everything that went on this morning. I would just love for you to share with our
audience what that was like this morning because I found it to be profoundly moving and I was
just stoked for the entire day after chat today. Bobbi: It is so amazing to see how you hear
people talk about Oh you know online. Those relationships aren’t real. You have to be in person with someone. Our community has built significant relationships
amongst each other and it was so amazing this morning. We started talking about music and how can
music lift you up, how can music inspire you, how can music help you when you feel like
you are completely and utterly alone in this world, how can music help you to be calm and
people who are just sending in link after link after link to YouTube videos and web
pages and play lists of songs that they love and I said in Twitter at the chat we need
to do this, I’m just not sure how. We need to put together a survivor playlist
and put it out there for songs and music and maybe segment it by genra. If you’re looking for something inspiring,
try these and we talked about everything from dubstep to jazz to classical to Athena who
said that she liked to listen to old Michael Jackson music. Athena: I feel s need to defend myself. I was picturing myself as a 4rth grader with
a Michael Jackson poster on my wall back in the early, early eighties and then I was picturing
myself listening to like all Jackson five. We’re not going to sing to you tonight. We’re not going to sing anymore to you guys. So yeah, I didn’t mean old Michael Jackson
like Michael Jackson music is like super old like all old people like I’m a huge fan of
the Michael Jackson like he changed the world, he changed pop music, he changed dance, he
changed so much and so I’m a huge fan. Bobbi: Jackson 5 Michael Jackson. Athena: Like way a long time ago like seventy’s. Bobbi: Yeah it’s funny because I could remember
and Collin was talking about the Eagles. Athena: Yes and the Beetles. I love the Beetles. Bobbi: Yeah. I’m like yeah I had their albums and their
cassette tapes and their CD’s and now everything on iTunes or online wow I’m old. It just gives you a richer playlist to pick
from. Athena: That is true. We discussed everything from progressive house
like Bobbi said in dub step to I Love me some Louis Armstrong and some Etta James and any
thirty’s music. I love swing music, big band music, I love
music from the fifty’s, I was raised on Pink Floyd and I mean Oh gosh Black Sabbath anything
seventy’s like I was raised and my parents were total hippie Partiers like the types
of parties that like I wouldn’t want my kid to go to parties like big drug parties like
with lots of crazy music like ranging from who knows. I mean what is that song from Pink Floyd That’s
like twenty seven minutes long and it’s all just psychedelic? Any way I can’t remember that. Bobbi: The Wall? Athena: Maybe it was the Wall. I can’t remember but I played all these music. I had eighty song playlist for my wedding
ranging everything from acoustic Singer-Songwriter to the Devi brothers to Pink Floyd to Ajay
James to the patriotic God bless the USA song by Lee Greenwood when my son like came in
and walked in before us and Bruno Mars like there eclectic. You guys just listening to everybody’s musical
tastes and who can forget all of the power ballads of the eighty’s bands, all the eighty’s
hair bands. Oh my gosh there were some beautiful amazing
incredible music during that time even if you’re not a rocker that it’s easy to just
really have an appreciation for or some of that music and Guns N Roses. I mean anyway just so much. Music just makes us happy. Bobbi I would love to hear you talk about
the portion of our chat this morning when we sort of shifted to what songs or are there
songs, what songs do we avoid because they bring back like certain memories or they’re
very triggering for us to listen to. One of mine with Cyndi Lauper because it was
just during like the very beginning stages of my abuse that I can remember but what about
you? There was a portion this morning where we
talked about some songs that we really couldn’t listen to because it was just difficult for
abuse reasons. Bobbi: Some of it, it’s not directly related
to abuse like there are songs that are difficult for me to hear because they were associated
with after my abuse so when I was in my early teens which was a really, really amazingly
here I am not leaving my times when I was abused as a really hard time but I was in
that place I don’t belong to in the world but I don’t know where I belong and I would
go to things like school dances and stand in the corner and feel like nobody in the
world saw me. Nobody wanted to dance with me, nobody, I
have a whole bunch of songs like from that particular period that if they come on the
radio, I’m pension in channels to change the channel. That was one of the best things about the
fact that we can now listen to music on iTunes or Spotify or Pandora. We get to skip those songs and we get to pick
the ones that we like. When I was a little girl grew up pretty poor
and my sister and I when we were young had 2 record albums. One was Frank Sinatra. I don’t know why we had that one. And the other one was the Mary Poppins soundtrack
that my mom and dad got in for us at a yard sale. I don’t know where Frank came from and then
we had an old record player, old record player and we used to listen to those for hours and
hours and hours and hours. I think that I was probably the only six-year
old who could sing Frank Sinatra songs from beginning to end and then we sang Bobbi Blue
and all the ones from Mary Poppins and those are very fond memories for me of my sister
and I having fun, having a little bit of a escape amidst everything else when we could
sit safely in my bedroom and listen to music. Obviously it wasn’t night but during daytime. So yeah music can make amazing connection
and one of those reasons is that music, I know music has words and so it sounds a little. Athena: The final reason for all of us survivors
to get together is we can play that song. Go ahead Bobbi. Bobbi: Yes, music has words. Expressive therapies are about reaching the
parts of your brain and expressing emotions that are not stored in our language centers. Music has that incredible capacity of being
a crossover method of expression so it can reach the parts even though it has words. Those words go to one part of our brain and
the music goes to that other part of our brain where words are not stored but memories are,
emotions are and so when we hear that song, it evokes that emotion and then it also touches
the music and so that’s one of the reasons I adore music is because it will let us do
both. As trauma survivors we have to remember that
there is a large part of our trauma that is stored in non language based places in our
body. Not just our brain, but in our body. You know Athena and I have talked many times
about how our body carries trauma and we end up with auto immune disorders because of the
cortisol that flowed through our body and we end up with aches and pains and other issues
because of the trauma that’s stored in our body and that is the magic of expressive therapies
is that they let us tap into express and heal actually the parts, the trauma that stored
other than in our language center in brain and so that’s music, that’s art. I am a huge, huge, huge fan of art therapy
and if it’s art therapy, we’re not concerned about the end product. We’re talking about the process. So when I talk about art therapy, I get invariably
people who get a look of panic on a face and say I can’t draw things, I can’t make art,
I can’t paint. That’s not what it’s about. I don’t care if the end product is something
you’re going to run in and put through the shredder. What we’re talking about is you accessing
parts of your thoughts and feelings through art that you have not in other ways. So art is fantastic and art along with music,
combined those two are fantastic. I like Athena said, equine therapy, movement
based therapies are fantastic. Dance, yoga can be very healing and it can
help us to access thoughts and feelings. Athena: Hi Bobbi. It’s not necessarily a question that someone
asked but Dominic made a comment about something and I’m just curious how we can heal this
if we can. So there is an opening song in Sleeping Beauty
and her abuser’s name rhymed with Aurora and the abuser would force her to sing that song
with her name in it and my response was I wish there was some way that we could heal
that. I wonder if we could pull that apart for just
a second like what would it look like to heal a musical memory like you know how the power
of scent is pre-cognitive and so if we smell something it will trigger us before our brain
even realizes were triggered. It’s like a ninja trigger. It’s so hard to calm down and ground ourselves
from a smell but like what about a song. What about a song? We hear a song and it’s so triggering because
of something like this it’s so twisted and ridiculous and just off right evil like to
ruin that song for her forever and ever and ever because so much abuse happens like that
that was her abuser. So I wonder if there’s a way for us to like
I’m sure with EMDR something like that could be healed but can you think of a way that
you could heal something like that since it’s something that so deeply ingrained through
music. Bobbi: I think that that requires a powerful
experience to reclaim that song. So what she needs to do if she desires to
have that song be a part of her life and not associated with those memories is to construct
a powerfully positive experience that involves this song. I’m trying to think of something that she
could do at this point but terms of need to make it a concrete example and I can’t think
anything specifically with that song but say for example Rachel platens. It had a really negative connotation for someone. Something happened to them while that song
was playing. If a large group of us were able to get together
and sing it kind of as an anthem, I think the powerful memory that might be able to
overwrite the negative memory and you may need to have several really positive memories
to overwrite that one because it is so deeply ingrained and I’m sorry that Sleeping Beauty
was ruined. Athena: Yeah it’s just heartbreaking for me. I wanted to say a very special welcome to
Aniqua. It is her very first time tuning in live with
us and we’re grateful that you’re here with us. Welcome, welcome. And yeah we’re sorry Dominic that Sleeping
Beauty was ruined. And Donald Cribs by the way is sharing a couple
of tweets. So far there are two tweets and they’re going
to be more. He’s numbering them one two three and however
many more. It’s called six directional breathing and
I think he may have learned it at that that healing survivor healing weekend that he went
to and he also talked about drama therapy, being very, very healing like acting out. And Professor Vandal, I always say is right
name wrong, he leads healing weekend as well and does like we’re each person that is in
the room each they person plays a different character in your scenario and then you reenact
the parts of your scenario so that you can actually have a voice and it’s very, very,
very, very, very powerful and very healing. I was reading all about it in my in research
for this week’s topic. Bobbi: That’s the perfect example of overwriting
a prior bad memory with a new more powerful empowering one. You rewrite the story. Yes exactly and that’s how we reclaim and
there are so many parts of our life, of our bodies, of our childhood that are just obliterated
by bad memories and we have to, if we want to, we can reclaim them. We absolutely can and rewrite a positive experience,
a positive memory, a positive message on top of all that old ugly. It takes some practice but like you said it’s
very powerful. Athena: Yeah I’m wishing. I’m hearing like a lot of people like even
Katie was chiming in that her abuser is to play the same rap song over and over and over
and over again and just like rewrite like flip the script, flip the script and finding
a way to reclaim that piece of reality for our own and not something that was twisted. We were twisted and contorted to perform in
a certain way it might have it be ruined for us. Similarly, when I was training for a half
marathon the very first one that I was ever going to do, I was really learning to practice
self care for the very first time. It was just sort of the stage of my recovery
that I was in where I was learning it for the first time and I had like a system like
a morning routine and I would listen to this one particular John Mayer CD during that time
and I’m telling you, every single time to this day if I hear one of those songs from
that John Mayer CD whatever frame of mind I’m in, I’m like I can do this, I’m healthy,
I can practice excellence self care, I can be well, I can reclaim my life like I somehow
like get inspired because of that song, because of whatever song coming on. Bobbi: Yes. You’ve programmed your mind. Athena: Actually it was a live, it was a live
CD so but yeah that you guys the power of music and art and you know what, really quickly
before we’re going to be shifting into our OnePage here in a moment right Bobbi. Are we? I want to show you guys something super quick. I’m telling Tracy to rewind because I sang
for her. She just showed up. You guys, just say a really quick hello to
Tracy if you could just say hi. She’s been in the hospital and she had surgery
on her, she had a broken femur. So send her some just safe cuddles and sweet
hugs. So super quick you guys, please ignore the
pile of laundry on the floor if you happen to see it but I want
to show you something. It’s on topic for our expressive therapies
and I just wanted to show you super quick. You can create something like this for yourself. I have a drop cloth on the floor. It costs like a couple dollars or you can
use an old sheet and I have like a piece of canvas like plastic stuff underneath it that
just in case I drop any paint and I got these little like paper drawers for like a couple
bucks on Amazon. I painted this old bookcase. I painted it white with like a spray can. That’s a piece of art that my son made for
me. That is like my favorite in like a piece of
clay that he formed for me when he was really, really, really little. So here are just like some water colors like
just some cheap stuff and then back in here are just like some of those paints you can
buy on Amazon or just acrylics and then like here’s some brushes like you get a package
of those brushes for like five bucks and it’s like my water bill like different colors and
I was doing some water colors but here I started sketching an angel. I wanted to start an angel anthology as a
fundraiser for all of our peeps to send in pictures of angels. We would sell it or something and like do
a fundraiser. Anyway we’re getting ready to do like an adult
coloring book as a fundraiser as well which I need to be meeting with Cimmy and I haven’t
seen Cimmy. You guys did we Cimmy and Jack today? I miss them. Did anybody see them or did I just miss them. Bobbi: I haven’t seen them. I didn’t see them this morning. Athena: I need to touch base with her just
to find out what time we’re meeting. You guys so I’m not an artistic person. I’m not. I was afraid to even go do that art class. I took one art class. Actually, I went to one of the paint where
they serve you wine and I did okay but I messed up the leaves on my tree, anyway. But then I did one other art class and then
the gal that was teaching the art class like drew with pencil on my watercolor when I was
done with it and like devastated me. I was just like so heartbroken that she drew
on my art. I will never do that if I helped teach art. So I was terrified and I was like you know
what, no I’m not going to allow this to be robbed from me. I’m going to go online on Amazon. I’m going to find some cheap stuff. I got this like package of canvases and just
some cheap brushes and cheap paint and I’ve been trying like once a month or so to just
be expressive in some sort of an art form and I’ve been feeling a little bit because
I haven’t done it once a month really. I’ve only got it a few times but music is
really, really healing and you can get that do the some sort of a little set up like that
or just set aside a little area if you possibly can so that it’s in front of you and it’s
ready for you to just sit down like set yourself up for success like we do in our crisis management
plans and like all the other stuff we’re teaching you guys as well like put that old
crappy sheet down on the floor and like get some old chair or whatever and like you know
buy some cheap brushes or some cheap paints and maybe just allow yourself like even if
it’s just a half hour once a month to just create something and see how it goes because
you might find that you access a part of you that you never even knew existed and sort
of reclaim that piece of your life which could lead to reclaiming another piece of your life
and another and another and another and there’s like exponential growth that can happen like
it could be a catalyst of change for you. So Bobbi, your comments on all of that? Bobbi: As you’re talking about that, I think
art is excellent way to get unstuck when we feel stuck. It’s also an excellent way to bring forth
emotions when we feel completely shut down and bottled up. And one of my favorite things to do and someday,
I will do this with a big group of survivors. Get yourself a huge piece of paper or even
a big piece of canvas and go out in the yard or someplace to your house where you can get
you know put down a sheet or whatever we can get messy and just, I don’t get finger paint,
get a big rush whatever you want and just get into the color and just spread it around
on the paper, big messy art projects where no one’s going to yell at you if you get messy. Nobody’s going to yell if you if you get paint
on your shirt. No one is there to say “No, it doesn’t look
like a fruit bowl. It needs to look like that fruit bowl there
on the stand.” No, all you’re doing is just creating. Put some awesome music on and just let yourself
go and you can do layers and layers of paint, you can write words in the paint, get a marker
and write in the painting, whatever you want to do. The idea again it’s about the process and
not the product and big messy art projects are fantastic for accessing emotions particularly
it’s good for accessing anger and it’s also a good one for accessing sadness and power
because you’re in control of what’s going on that piece of paper. Nobody else is but you. So I’m a huge fan of big messy art projects
and someday we will all do them but for now, get yourself a big piece of butcher paper
and just go to town and just create. Don’t worry about what it ends up looking
like. In fact, if it ends up looking like a big
bunch of mud at the end, that’s fine, doesn’t matter, roll it up, throw it away when if
you want to. It’s about getting there and expressing
yourself. Athena: Like when we commit to the process
and not necessarily the outcome. I think if you can take away anything from
today’s broadcast, possibly think about what it would look like to commit to the process
of doing a piece of art just for the sake of doing it and not necessarily having that
piece of art to keep forever because you don’t have to create a piece of art that you’re
going to keep forever and frame it and put it up about your fireplace or on your wall
or anything. Just commit to the process and not the outcome
and perhaps that will give you some permission. Think of children that go off like at church
on Sundays a lot of the kids they will go off to Sunday school and then at the end of
Sunday school, they’ll bring out like feathers and popsicle sticks and Q-Tips with thinker
paints and cotton balls and weird stuff and they’re like “Mommy, looks” and she’s
like “it’s beautiful” and I’m like and you know it’s hard because I have those little
moments where I’m like oh my goodness I never have that. That sucks. I sort of have like a trigger moment but then
when that part sort of subsides and I think of the beauty and the simplicity of this little
child just getting some weird paste and stuff and just like reading it all over the place
and being like so proud of it, like I really want to encourage us and push us beyond our
limits a little bit to allow ourselves permission to embrace the process and not necessarily
the outcome because that is a perfect metaphor for our recovery journey because when we embrace
the process of recovering and not necessarily what am I going to look like when I’m done
recovering? I’m so sick of it. Am I done yet? Am I done yet? Am I done yet? I’m sick of triggers. I’m sick of recovering. I’m sick I’m sick I’m sick of it. We’re all sick of it. I mean we’re all so damn sick of it. We’re sick of anxiety, we’re sick of PTSD,
we’re sick of triggers, we’re sick of sleepless nights, we’re sick of flashbacks, emotional
flashbacks, we’re sick of it all. But the more we persevere and commit to the
process and not necessarily like Hurry it up already c’mon c’mon c’mon already like
what’s going to be outcome. We embrace the journey and embrace the process. When we do get to the outcome and even little
steps and like resting points along the way, it’s so much more beautiful and fulfilling. Bobbi, your comments on that? Bobbi: Oh. You know another thing that I like thinking
about that another thing that I like the art and the expressive therapy. If someone comes to me says OK, today we’re
going to talk about your trauma and I get that word cringe of no I don’t want to talk
about it again but if you come up to me and say we’re going to do some art therapy today. I’m like cool. I’m in. These are some ways that we can heal our trauma
that is generally pleasant. Yeah I’m fifty years old and I’m still sick
of processing my trauma but when you talk to me about music and art therapy, I’m like
cool. I can do that. That’s enjoyable. The emotions that it brings up might not be
my favorite thing in the whole wide world but I like it. I could do without some of the movement therapy
because I still have body issues. Athena: I do too. Well, we mentioned in our OnePage today, we
mentioned a couple of the other videos and OnePages and one of them is the discovering
movement and the other is triggers and I could have mentioned several because there was so
much mention this morning in chat and just when you go to tackle the topic of any type
of expressive therapy, we’ve touched around this topic in like twelve or fifteen different
ways on so many of our other OnePages and then for us to be focusing completely only
on this topic, it’s just interesting how everything is so connected. Everything in our recovery journey is connected. It’s a journey. It’s all part of this long winding road that
we’re on and part of that road is whether it’s movement, like part of the discovering
movement video that I did with Claudia Bobbi was getting like a kitchen towel and like
slapping the ground. No no and then like learning how to scream
YES YES and using our voice and using just movement like not exercise at all. We were discovering different ways to move
our bodies that were not considered exercise but they were therapeautic in their nature. So anyway, just hugely beneficial I thought
and that was. Bobbi: It’s is empowering. Athena: It was so empowering. It was so empowering for sure. Bobbi: Katie had asked and I want to address
this because other people might have the same question. Katie had asked if writing is an expressive
therapy and it’s not because writing uses the language centers in our brain but it’s
very powerful and writing is actually called writing therapy. I mean there are workshops about writing therapy. So I don’t want anyone to think that because
it’s not an expressive therapy that it’s not good. It is phenomenal. It’s just not an expressive therapy. It’s so wonderful that it’s a therapy all
on its own. So Katie, keep writing. Athena: It’s cathartic. It’s very cathartic and especially when you’re
writing freely and you’re not writing with Bobbi: Again the process not the product. Athena: Not the product like if you’re writing
within the confines of some sort of like rules that can be a little bit more difficult but
if you’re writing just to write and you’re just enjoying the process of writing, you
can discover pieces of yourself that you never even knew you had like discovering pieces
of your mind that access different areas of your mind that no words that you didn’t even
realize you knew like whenever I go to write, I always tell Bobbi this and I told you guys
this before too. Writing for me is probably my biggest; it’s
my most triggering catalyst because when I’m speaking whether it’s speaking on a stage,
speaking on an interview or a podcast like audio or speaking here on video with you guys
every single week just showing up, I have certain ticks and tells and coping strategies
that I use if I get triggered. Humor as a redirect for me is my go to like
I just can just show up as just the silly ridiculous girl that’ll make you laugh and
giggle and might start singing randomly or make weird faces and that is a way for me
to almost distract myself if I’m triggered. Showing up on camera first of all for anyone
I don’t care who you are, is terrifying. It’s terrifying because you’re putting yourself
out there for the world to love or hate or ignore or complain about. We have trolls that show up every week. We have critics. We have an inner critic, the loudest one so
showing up on video is terrifying in and of itself. Athena: Aloha everyone and thank you so much
for tuning into another week of Trauma Recovery University. I’m your host Athena Moberg and
your amazing co-host Bobbi Parish is here with me as well. I want to say a very special
welcome to all of you who show up early and just support one another in your recovery
journeys here at Trauma Recovery University. This is one of three Twitter chats that we
have every single week. This one has a live Q&A video component to it so if you are here
on YouTube, awesome. If you’re on our Roku TV channel, welcome. If you’re here on Google,
we are happy that you’re here. If you are listening on a podcast platform such as iTunes,
Stitcher, Spreaker, SoundCloud or even I Heart Radio, we want to kindly remind you that this
is a video broadcast. We would love to welcome you over and invite you to come and join all
of us. Bobbi, I have a new number of countries where
I’m going to surprise you right now. So Trauma Recovery University, we are a global support
group that meet up on Twitter, YouTube and Facebook and we are in over 70 countries and
we’re humbled by that. So welcome to all of you. We are currently in the process of
transitioning and getting all of our resources translated into other languages for all of
you that do not speak English as your native tongue. So I want to invite anyone listening
on a podcast platform to go head on over to nomoreshameproject.com or traumarecoveryuniversity.com
and just go ahead and watch some videos and if you would like access to our complimentary
OnePage resource which is downloadable and it’s a PDF so it will be accessible and readable
on any mobile device or any computer anywhere or any tablet, you can get that by clicking
on the Downloadables tab on one of our websites traumarecoveryuniversity.com or nomoreshameproject.com
and that’s just free. We just want to say thank you. It’s sort of our weekly blog post
if you will and it is a OnePage resource that sort of encompasses everything that we will
be discussing tonight here on Trauma Recovery University. Every week we show up here, we
do a live Q and A with Twitter with you, you tweet your questions to us, you tag us @AthenaMoberg,
@BobbiLParish and use the hash tag #nomoreshame. We answer your questions and every week we
have a different topic. That is sort of how this all works. This week’s topic is one of
my favorites of all time over the couple years that we’ve been doing this and it is music
and expressive therapies to aid our recovery journey.
So music and expressive therapies are different in that they don’t follow the same guidelines
as talk therapy. Talk therapy is so powerful and there are tons of modalities out there.
There’s neurolinguistic programming, cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral
therapy. There are so many different talk therapies out there and different modalities
that include speaking, using our voice and it’s so, so, so, so healing. There are however
ways that we can express ourselves in art or listening to music or plain music dance
or even having a pet or a dog that is trying to be a PTSD service dog or even equine therapy
which my girlfriend Julie is actively involved in. She lives in Washington. So all of these,
we’re going to be unpacking and talk about tonight and it’s all pertaining to you, the
adult survivor of child abuse specifically childhood sexual abuse. Bobbi and myself are
both survivors of childhood sexual abuse and we show up here every single week and we share
our recovery journey with you because that’s what we’ve chosen to do and over the course
of the last couple of years we’ve invited several hundred even probably a thousand people
close to a thousand people to join us in healing in safe community whether that’s in the YouTube
comments on the videos, watching the Roku TV channel, coming into a private secret Facebook
support group to heal among other survivors free from predators, zero tolerance policy,
no abuse, no minimization allowed, just you and other people healing. So that’s who we
are, that’s what we’re about and it is my privilege and my honor to show up here every
single week to support you, the survivor, and just share humor and tools and education
and resources and some laughs along the way because if you can’t laugh and oh my goodness
gracious we’ve been through so much, we need to find a way to laugh. So we show up here
every single week and you are the reason we show up. We are honored and privileged to
be here on your recovery journey with you. Thank you for being here. I’m going to turn
this over to my amazing partner Bobbi Parrish who is I’m sure feverishly and amazingly tweeting
every single person that is out there here to support. So I’ll take the Twitter stream
over for you like Bobbi and Bobbi will share all kinds of really fun amazing announcements
with you right now. Take it away Bobbi. Bobbi: Hi everybody. I’m so glad that you’re
here. We are just honored that you choose to spend an hour or a little more than an
hour of your week with us or if you’re sitting home binge watching these episodes or listening
on a podcast, however you’re are, we’re honored that you’re here. I want to issue
first and foremost a big trigger warning because this is a video podcast, live broadcast that
discusses childhood abuse and so please practice excellent self care. Take care of yourself.
If you get triggered, just step away. It’s no big deal. The broadcasts will be here as
podcast as videos up on You Tube within a matter of a couple of hours and you’ll be
able to come back to them so don’t hesitate to just walk away. We don’t want you to watch
when you’re feeling distressed at all. If you are in crisis right now or you need
help urgently and you’re in the US or Canada, we encourage you to reach out to our friends
RAINN. RAINN is the rape abused Incest National Network and it is available at 1800-656-HOPE.
You can also reach out to them on their website. They have a crisis chat featured and that
is available twenty four hours a day, seven days a week and their website is rainn.org.
If you are in the UK, you can reach out to the Samaritans. The Samaritans are available
at 116-123. They also have support via email and you can email them at [email protected]
You can also get support from the Samaritans via text and that number is 0775909090. If
you are in Australia which is our next largest growing community of survivors, your national
hotline number is 13-11-14. And yay, we’re in 70 countries now and as we get larger groups
of people in different countries, we will give you the crisis and hotline numbers for
those countries as well. If you want to, feel free to tweet them to us or however it is
you want to get them to us so we can share them with survivors from around the world.
Athena: I just wanted to say a very special shout out to Tiffany and Mia. Tiffany is joining
us for the very first time and I noticing that Mia is joining us as well. Mia lives
with Matt and she is a feline but Tiffany is human. Tiffany is human and I would like
to say very special welcome to Tiffany Jenkins because it’s her very first time my Twitter
and her very first time joining us live. So welcome, welcome, welcome. Please continue.
Bobbi: Hi Tiffany. I saw a picture of Matt’s cat Mia. She is gorgeous. Athena and I have
been very hard at work on a special project that we are going to announce sometime here
in the next hopefully two weeks. So we want you, I used to teach kindergarten and so I
would tell my students to put on their listening ears. So put on your Twitter and Facebook
listening ears over the next couple of weeks because we have a phenomenal announcement.
Athena and I, I think we share this with you before when we started this. Oh gosh I think
I counted the other day twenty months ago. We had grand visions and we had both had such
difficult recoveries, just gut wrenching hard recovery because there were so few resources
for survivors, so little education out there for survivors about what trauma is and how
it affects us and so little support. Here’s a therapy appointment maybe every two weeks
and just on your own and get better. It took us a long time and it was so hard
and so we came together in an effort to put together something that would make other people’s
journeys easier and we had grand visions and we just kept telling ourselves as things got
hard and the few times that we thought why do we keep doing this, that we are just two
girls with laptops sitting in our living rooms trying to change the world and we finally
really, really, really get in there and so this announcement that we’re going to make
is going to be amazing and it is really a next step in us changing world for survivors
everywhere so that you have education, you have knowledge, you have support at your fingertips
twenty four seven, three sixty five. So stay tuned and be on the watch and as soon as we
can make our announcement, we will be making the announcement on Twitter and Facebook and
if you live within about five hundred miles of either one of us do you may very well hear
a screaming in our living rooms or with our laptops.
Athena: Yes. I have people who will likely hear me over on the island of Oahu even though
I live on Maui. I’m so excited to be on this journey with all of you guys. Bobbi and
I, like she was just saying, are just we’re beyond the realm to be here with you and we’re
not here ever saying, we have it all figured out. You guys are broken and I know that sounds
like I’m saying it in jest but a lot of places you go online regardless of what it is you’re
looking for, the Guru and the expert in everything or they have it all figured out and you’re
the one that screwed up and coming into a place like this with us, where we’re all on
a very, very, very painful recovery journey. We’re not talking about like we’re not here
to tell you about the next best widget or plugin or book or I don’t know. I’m trying
to think of stuff that people sell online or whatever but we’re here to just show up
and support you and it’s an honor and it’s a privilege and we’re just so, so that we
get to do life with you guys and that’s what we do. We’re showing up here doing life
with you guys. And we’re blessed. We’re count ourselves blessed and fortunate to be here
with you guys. Bobbi, could you possibly have imagined when we like you were talking about
a minute ago when we first started. We had all these visions of grandeur with on our
laptops in our living rooms trying to change the world, could you have ever imagined that
we would reach seventy countries? Bobbi: No.
Athena: I don’t think that I dared to dream that big. In fact I have an issue with dream.
I always wonder like am I dreaming to big. I help my girlfriend, you guys have heard
me tell you this before but I helped my girlfriend Victoria start a cinnamon roll business and
we were training for a marathon together. She is my marathon buddy and I helped her
start her cinnamon business and it was just sort of like this like symbiotic relationship
it was cool but she asked me to dream really, really, really big and if I could have anything
with her business launching and I could like maybe become like business partners or do
something with her someday or whatever, what would my big dream be and my dream was to
have a gym membership. Bobbi: Wow.
Athena: That was my big dream. I wanted a gym membership because it had been a really
long time since I had a gym membership and I didn’t make enough money for a long, long
time to have my own gym membership and so I wanted a gym membership and that was my
big, big dream and she was like looking at me, are you kidding, are you joking. She thought
I was joking and I wasn’t. Survivors have a hard time seeing the forest through the
trees and we can’t see the big expansive world out there of what we could possibly accomplish,
what we were purpose for, what we were created to be, the goals we have, the dreams we have,
we can’t even see past. Oh my gosh I hope I don’t have another panic attack today. Oh
my gosh my PTSD is flaring up so bad. My anxiety is off the charts right now and I have to
go to the market and I have to buy food and I have to have the bank and I can’t stand
going the bank and I have to go the post office and I hate the post office and oh my gosh
it’s just crazy and there aren’t even words to describe all of the things that are going
through our head. It is a perfect segue to tonight’s topic which is sometimes just getting
messy with some art or listening to some music super duper loud or getting a musical instrument
and trying it for the first time and like doing the little demo keys that they have
and all the stuff like just somehow expressing yourself in a way, immersing yourself in something
that doesn’t require words, it is therapeutic. It is a life changing and it is often lifesaving.
So buckle your seat belts because it is going to be a really, really, really fun one. If
you are not here live and you’re not hanging out with us, tweeting and asking questions
and you’re like good bored girl just shut up and get to the point, then down below here
right above the comment section in the bottom of the description section on the replay in
24 hours or so you will see a link that says if you’re here for the replay and you’re
not here alive and you don’t want to hear us talk, click on the number and it will fast
forward you just to our downloadable OnePage resource content that we do want to screen
share. So you don’t have to listen to us talk, just an enhancement for you folks that are
not here live. So again, you can get access to that complimentary OnePage downloadable
resource over at traumarecoveryuniversity.com. Click on Downloadables and it’ll ask you for
your email address, send you access, boom you’re in and you can have access to the
whole library. There is like a hundred hours of resources on videos and there’s almost
one hundred OnePages. So yeah, this is going to be exciting. Bobbi, is there anything that
we want to talk about or share? I thought chat was particularly exciting this morning
and I wanted to even though we invite people at the end of the broadcast to come and join
us on our weekly Twitter chat, I think I would love to hear you talk about the magic that
was this morning when people from the UK and the United States and Ireland and other places
came and joined in on our chat this morning that we have every week and just the collaboration
of beautiful everything that went on this morning. I would just love for you to share
with our audience what that was like this morning because I found it to be profoundly
moving and I was just stoked for the entire day after chat today.
Bobbi: It is so amazing to see how you hear people talk about Oh you know online. Those
relationships aren’t real. You have to be in person with someone. Our community has
built significant relationships amongst each other and it was so amazing this morning.
We started talking about music and how can music lift you up, how can music inspire you,
how can music help you when you feel like you are completely and utterly alone in this
world, how can music help you to be calm and people who are just sending in link after
link after link to YouTube videos and web pages and play lists of songs that they love
and I said in Twitter at the chat we need to do this, I’m just not sure how. We need
to put together a survivor playlist and put it out there for songs and music and maybe
segment it by genra. If you’re looking for something inspiring, try these and we talked
about everything from dubstep to jazz to classical to Athena who said that she liked to listen
to old Michael Jackson music. Athena: I feel s need to defend myself. I
was picturing myself as a 4rth grader with a Michael Jackson poster on my wall back in
the early, early eighties and then I was picturing myself listening to like all Jackson five.
We’re not going to sing to you tonight. We’re not going to sing anymore to you guys.
So yeah, I didn’t mean old Michael Jackson like Michael Jackson music is like super old
like all old people like I’m a huge fan of the Michael Jackson like he changed the world,
he changed pop music, he changed dance, he changed so much and so I’m a huge fan.
Bobbi: Jackson 5 Michael Jackson. Athena: Like way a long time ago like seventy’s.
Bobbi: Yeah it’s funny because I could remember and Collin was talking about the Eagles.
Athena: Yes and the Beetles. I love the Beetles. Bobbi: Yeah. I’m like yeah I had their albums
and their cassette tapes and their CD’s and now everything on iTunes or online wow I’m
old. It just gives you a richer playlist to pick from.
Athena: That is true. We discussed everything from progressive house like Bobbi said in
dub step to I Love me some Louis Armstrong and some Etta James and any thirty’s music.
I love swing music, big band music, I love music from the fifty’s, I was raised on Pink
Floyd and I mean Oh gosh Black Sabbath anything seventy’s like I was raised and my parents
were total hippie Partiers like the types of parties that like I wouldn’t want my kid
to go to parties like big drug parties like with lots of crazy music like ranging from
who knows. I mean what is that song from Pink Floyd That’s like twenty seven minutes long
and it’s all just psychedelic? Any way I can’t remember that.
Bobbi: The Wall? Athena: Maybe it was the Wall. I can’t remember
but I played all these music. I had eighty song playlist for my wedding ranging everything
from acoustic Singer-Songwriter to the Devi brothers to Pink Floyd to Ajay James to the
patriotic God bless the USA song by Lee Greenwood when my son like came in and walked in before
us and Bruno Mars like there eclectic. You guys just listening to everybody’s musical
tastes and who can forget all of the power ballads of the eighty’s bands, all the eighty’s
hair bands. Oh my gosh there were some beautiful amazing incredible music during that time
even if you’re not a rocker that it’s easy to just really have an appreciation for or
some of that music and Guns N Roses. I mean anyway just so much. Music just makes us happy.
Bobbi I would love to hear you talk about the portion of our chat this morning when
we sort of shifted to what songs or are there songs, what songs do we avoid because they
bring back like certain memories or they’re very triggering for us to listen to. One of
mine with Cyndi Lauper because it was just during like the very beginning stages of my
abuse that I can remember but what about you? There was a portion this morning where we
talked about some songs that we really couldn’t listen to because it was just difficult for
abuse reasons. Bobbi: Some of it, it’s not directly related
to abuse like there are songs that are difficult for me to hear because they were associated
with after my abuse so when I was in my early teens which was a really, really amazingly
here I am not leaving my times when I was abused as a really hard time but I was in
that place I don’t belong to in the world but I don’t know where I belong and I would
go to things like school dances and stand in the corner and feel like nobody in the
world saw me. Nobody wanted to dance with me, nobody, I have a whole bunch of songs
like from that particular period that if they come on the radio, I’m pension in channels
to change the channel. That was one of the best things about the fact that we can now
listen to music on iTunes or Spotify or Pandora. We get to skip those songs and we get to pick
the ones that we like. When I was a little girl grew up pretty poor and my sister and
I when we were young had 2 record albums. One was Frank Sinatra. I don’t know why we
had that one. And the other one was the Mary Poppins soundtrack that my mom and dad got
in for us at a yard sale. I don’t know where Frank came from and then we had an old record
player, old record player and we used to listen to those for hours and hours and hours and
hours. I think that I was probably the only six-year old who could sing Frank Sinatra
songs from beginning to end and then we sang Bobbi Blue and all the ones from Mary Poppins
and those are very fond memories for me of my sister and I having fun, having a little
bit of a escape amidst everything else when we could sit safely in my bedroom and listen
to music. Obviously it wasn’t night but during daytime. So yeah music can make amazing connection
and one of those reasons is that music, I know music has words and so it sounds a little.
Athena: The final reason for all of us survivors to get together is we can play that song.
Go ahead Bobbi. Bobbi: Yes, music has words. Expressive therapies
are about reaching the parts of your brain and expressing emotions that are not stored
in our language centers. Music has that incredible capacity of being a crossover method of expression
so it can reach the parts even though it has words. Those words go to one part of our brain
and the music goes to that other part of our brain where words are not stored but memories
are, emotions are and so when we hear that song, it evokes that emotion and then it also
touches the music and so that’s one of the reasons I adore music is because it will let
us do both. As trauma survivors we have to remember that there is a large part of our
trauma that is stored in non language based places in our body. Not just our brain, but
in our body. You know Athena and I have talked many times about how our body carries trauma
and we end up with auto immune disorders because of the cortisol that flowed through our body
and we end up with aches and pains and other issues because of the trauma that’s stored
in our body and that is the magic of expressive therapies is that they let us tap into express
and heal actually the parts, the trauma that stored other than in our language center in
brain and so that’s music, that’s art. I am a huge, huge, huge fan of art therapy and
if it’s art therapy, we’re not concerned about the end product. We’re talking about
the process. So when I talk about art therapy, I get invariably people who get a look of
panic on a face and say I can’t draw things, I can’t make art, I can’t paint. That’s
not what it’s about. I don’t care if the end product is something you’re going to run in
and put through the shredder. What we’re talking about is you accessing parts of your thoughts
and feelings through art that you have not in other ways. So art is fantastic and art
along with music, combined those two are fantastic. I like Athena said, equine therapy, movement
based therapies are fantastic. Dance, yoga can be very healing and it can help us to
access thoughts and feelings. Athena: Hi Bobbi. It’s not necessarily a question
that someone asked but Dominic made a comment about something and I’m just curious how we
can heal this if we can. So there is an opening song in Sleeping Beauty and her abuser’s name
rhymed with Aurora and the abuser would force her to sing that song with her name in it
and my response was I wish there was some way that we could heal that. I wonder if we
could pull that apart for just a second like what would it look like to heal a musical
memory like you know how the power of scent is pre-cognitive and so if we smell something
it will trigger us before our brain even realizes were triggered. It’s like a ninja trigger.
It’s so hard to calm down and ground ourselves from a smell but like what about a song. What
about a song? We hear a song and it’s so triggering because of something like this it’s so twisted
and ridiculous and just off right evil like to ruin that song for her forever and ever
and ever because so much abuse happens like that that was her abuser. So I wonder if there’s
a way for us to like I’m sure with EMDR something like that could be healed but can you think
of a way that you could heal something like that since it’s something that so deeply ingrained
through music. Bobbi: I think that that requires a powerful
experience to reclaim that song. So what she needs to do if she desires to have that song
be a part of her life and not associated with those memories is to construct a powerfully
positive experience that involves this song. I’m trying to think of something that she
could do at this point but terms of need to make it a concrete example and I can’t think
anything specifically with that song but say for example Rachel platens. It had a really
negative connotation for someone. Something happened to them while that song was playing.
If a large group of us were able to get together and sing it kind of as an anthem, I think
the powerful memory that might be able to overwrite the negative memory and you may
need to have several really positive memories to overwrite that one because it is so deeply
ingrained and I’m sorry that Sleeping Beauty was ruined.
Athena: Yeah it’s just heartbreaking for me. I wanted to say a very special welcome to
Aniqua. It is her very first time tuning in live with us and we’re grateful that you’re
here with us. Welcome, welcome. And yeah we’re sorry Dominic that Sleeping Beauty was ruined.
And Donald Cribs by the way is sharing a couple of tweets. So far there are two tweets and
they’re going to be more. He’s numbering them one two three and however many more. It’s
called six directional breathing and I think he may have learned it at that that healing
survivor healing weekend that he went to and he also talked about drama therapy, being
very, very healing like acting out. And Professor Vandal, I always say is right name wrong,
he leads healing weekend as well and does like we’re each person that is in the room
each they person plays a different character in your scenario and then you reenact the
parts of your scenario so that you can actually have a voice and it’s very, very, very,
very, very powerful and very healing. I was reading all about it in my in research for
this week’s topic. Bobbi: That’s the perfect example of overwriting
a prior bad memory with a new more powerful empowering one. You rewrite the story. Yes
exactly and that’s how we reclaim and there are so many parts of our life, of our bodies,
of our childhood that are just obliterated by bad memories and we have to, if we want
to, we can reclaim them. We absolutely can and rewrite a positive experience, a positive
memory, a positive message on top of all that old ugly. It takes some practice but like
you said it’s very powerful. Athena: Yeah I’m wishing. I’m hearing like
a lot of people like even Katie was chiming in that her abuser is to play the same rap
song over and over and over and over again and just like rewrite like flip the script,
flip the script and finding a way to reclaim that piece of reality for our own and not
something that was twisted. We were twisted and contorted to perform in a certain way
it might have it be ruined for us. Similarly, when I was training for a half marathon the
very first one that I was ever going to do, I was really learning to practice self care
for the very first time. It was just sort of the stage of my recovery that I was in
where I was learning it for the first time and I had like a system like a morning routine
and I would listen to this one particular John Mayer CD during that time and I’m telling
you, every single time to this day if I hear one of those songs from that John Mayer CD
whatever frame of mind I’m in, I’m like I can do this, I’m healthy, I can practice excellence
self care, I can be well, I can reclaim my life like I somehow like get inspired because
of that song, because of whatever song coming on.
Bobbi: Yes. You’ve programmed your mind. Athena: Actually it was a live, it was a live
CD so but yeah that you guys the power of music and art and you know what, really quickly
before we’re going to be shifting into our OnePage here in a moment right Bobbi. Are
we? I want to show you guys something super quick. I’m telling Tracy to rewind because
I sang for her. She just showed up. You guys, just say a really quick hello to Tracy if
you could just say hi. She’s been in the hospital and she had surgery on her, she had a broken
femur. So send her some just safe cuddles and sweet hugs. So super quick you guys, please
ignore the pile of laundry on the floor if you happen to see it but I want to show you
something. It’s on topic for our expressive therapies and I just wanted to show you super
quick. You can create something like this for yourself. I have a drop cloth on the floor.
It costs like a couple dollars or you can use an old sheet and I have like a piece of
canvas like plastic stuff underneath it that just in case I drop any paint and I got these
little like paper drawers for like a couple bucks on Amazon. I painted this old bookcase.
I painted it white with like a spray can. That’s a piece of art that my son made for
me. That is like my favorite in like a piece of clay that he formed for me when he was
really, really, really little. So here are just like some water colors like just some
cheap stuff and then back in here are just like some of those paints you can buy on Amazon
or just acrylics and then like here’s some brushes like you get a package of those brushes
for like five bucks and it’s like my water bill like different colors and I was doing
some water colors but here I started sketching an angel. I wanted to start an angel anthology
as a fundraiser for all of our peeps to send in pictures of angels. We would sell it or
something and like do a fundraiser. Anyway we’re getting ready to do like an adult coloring
book as a fundraiser as well which I need to be meeting with Cimmy and I haven’t seen
Cimmy. You guys did we Cimmy and Jack today? I miss them. Did anybody see them or did I
just miss them. Bobbi: I haven’t seen them. I didn’t see them
this morning. Athena: I need to touch base with her just
to find out what time we’re meeting. You guys so I’m not an artistic person. I’m not.
I was afraid to even go do that art class. I took one art class. Actually, I went to
one of the paint where they serve you wine and I did okay but I messed up the leaves
on my tree, anyway. But then I did one other art class and then the gal that was teaching
the art class like drew with pencil on my watercolor when I was done with it and like
devastated me. I was just like so heartbroken that she drew on my art. I will never do that
if I helped teach art. So I was terrified and I was like you know what, no I’m not going
to allow this to be robbed from me. I’m going to go online on Amazon. I’m going to find
some cheap stuff. I got this like package of canvases and just some cheap brushes and
cheap paint and I’ve been trying like once a month or so to just be expressive in some
sort of an art form and I’ve been feeling a little bit because I haven’t done it once
a month really. I’ve only got it a few times but music is really, really healing and you
can get that do the some sort of a little set up like that or just set aside a little
area if you possibly can so that it’s in front of you and it’s ready for you to just sit
down like set yourself up for success like we do in our crisis management plans and like
all the other stuff we’re teaching you guys as well like put that old crappy sheet down
on the floor and like get some old chair or whatever and like you know buy some cheap
brushes or some cheap paints and maybe just allow yourself like even if it’s just a half
hour once a month to just create something and see how it goes because you might find
that you access a part of you that you never even knew existed and sort of reclaim that
piece of your life which could lead to reclaiming another piece of your life and another and
another and another and there’s like exponential growth that can happen like it could be a
catalyst of change for you. So Bobbi, your comments on all of that?
Bobbi: As you’re talking about that, I think art is excellent way to get unstuck when we
feel stuck. It’s also an excellent way to bring forth emotions when we feel completely
shut down and bottled up. And one of my favorite things to do and someday, I will do this with
a big group of survivors. Get yourself a huge piece of paper or even a big piece of canvas
and go out in the yard or someplace to your house where you can get you know put down
a sheet or whatever we can get messy and just, I don’t get finger paint, get a big rush whatever
you want and just get into the color and just spread it around on the paper, big messy art
projects where no one’s going to yell at you if you get messy. Nobody’s going to yell if
you if you get paint on your shirt. No one is there to say “No, it doesn’t look like
a fruit bowl. It needs to look like that fruit bowl there on the stand.” No, all you’re
doing is just creating. Put some awesome music on and just let yourself go and you can do
layers and layers of paint, you can write words in the paint, get a marker and write
in the painting, whatever you want to do. The idea again it’s about the process and
not the product and big messy art projects are fantastic for accessing emotions particularly
it’s good for accessing anger and it’s also a good one for accessing sadness and power
because you’re in control of what’s going on that piece of paper. Nobody else is but
you. So I’m a huge fan of big messy art projects and someday we will all do them but for now,
get yourself a big piece of butcher paper and just go to town and just create. Don’t
worry about what it ends up looking like. In fact, if it ends up looking like a big
bunch of mud at the end, that’s fine, doesn’t matter, roll it up, throw it away when if
you want to. It’s about getting there and expressing yourself.
Athena: Like when we commit to the process and not necessarily the outcome. I think if
you can take away anything from today’s broadcast, possibly think about what it would look like
to commit to the process of doing a piece of art just for the sake of doing it and not
necessarily having that piece of art to keep forever because you don’t have to create a
piece of art that you’re going to keep forever and frame it and put it up about your fireplace
or on your wall or anything. Just commit to the process and not the outcome and perhaps
that will give you some permission. Think of children that go off like at church on
Sundays a lot of the kids they will go off to Sunday school and then at the end of Sunday
school, they’ll bring out like feathers and popsicle sticks and Q-Tips with thinker paints
and cotton balls and weird stuff and they’re like “Mommy, looks” and she’s like “it’s
beautiful” and I’m like and you know it’s hard because I have those little moments where
I’m like oh my goodness I never have that. That sucks. I sort of have like a trigger
moment but then when that part sort of subsides and I think of the beauty and the simplicity
of this little child just getting some weird paste and stuff and just like reading it all
over the place and being like so proud of it, like I really want to encourage us and
push us beyond our limits a little bit to allow ourselves permission to embrace the
process and not necessarily the outcome because that is a perfect metaphor for our recovery
journey because when we embrace the process of recovering and not necessarily what am
I going to look like when I’m done recovering? I’m so sick of it. Am I done yet? Am I done
yet? Am I done yet? I’m sick of triggers. I’m sick of recovering. I’m sick I’m sick
I’m sick of it. We’re all sick of it. I mean we’re all so damn sick of it. We’re sick of
anxiety, we’re sick of PTSD, we’re sick of triggers, we’re sick of sleepless nights,
we’re sick of flashbacks, emotional flashbacks, we’re sick of it all. But the more we persevere
and commit to the process and not necessarily like Hurry it up already c’mon c’mon c’mon
already like what’s going to be outcome. We embrace the journey and embrace the process.
When we do get to the outcome and even little steps and like resting points along the way,
it’s so much more beautiful and fulfilling. Bobbi, your comments on that?
Bobbi: Oh. You know another thing that I like thinking about that another thing that I like
the art and the expressive therapy. If someone comes to me says OK, today we’re going to
talk about your trauma and I get that word cringe of no I don’t want to talk about it
again but if you come up to me and say we’re going to do some art therapy today. I’m like
cool. I’m in. These are some ways that we can heal our trauma that is generally pleasant.
Yeah I’m fifty years old and I’m still sick of processing my trauma but when you talk
to me about music and art therapy, I’m like cool. I can do that. That’s enjoyable. The
emotions that it brings up might not be my favorite thing in the whole wide world but
I like it. I could do without some of the movement therapy because I still have body
issues. Athena: I do too. Well, we mentioned in our
OnePage today, we mentioned a couple of the other videos and OnePages and one of them
is the discovering movement and the other is triggers and I could have mentioned several
because there was so much mention this morning in chat and just when you go to tackle the
topic of any type of expressive therapy, we’ve touched around this topic in like twelve or
fifteen different ways on so many of our other OnePages and then for us to be focusing completely
only on this topic, it’s just interesting how everything is so connected. Everything
in our recovery journey is connected. It’s a journey. It’s all part of this long winding
road that we’re on and part of that road is whether it’s movement, like part of the discovering
movement video that I did with Claudia Bobbi was getting like a kitchen towel and like
slapping the ground. No no and then like learning how to scream YES YES and using our voice
and using just movement like not exercise at all. We were discovering different ways
to move our bodies that were not considered exercise but they were therapeautic in their
nature. So anyway, just hugely beneficial I thought and that was.
Bobbi: It’s is empowering. Athena: It was so empowering. It was so empowering
for sure. Bobbi: Katie had asked and I want to address
this because other people might have the same question. Katie had asked if writing is an
expressive therapy and it’s not because writing uses the language centers in our brain but
it’s very powerful and writing is actually called writing therapy. I mean there are workshops
about writing therapy. So I don’t want anyone to think that because it’s not an expressive
therapy that it’s not good. It is phenomenal. It’s just not an expressive therapy. It’s
so wonderful that it’s a therapy all on its own. So Katie, keep writing.
Athena: It’s cathartic. It’s very cathartic and especially when you’re writing freely
and you’re not writing with Bobbi: Again the process not the product.
Athena: Not the product like if you’re writing within the confines of some sort of like rules
that can be a little bit more difficult but if you’re writing just to write and you’re
just enjoying the process of writing, you can discover pieces of yourself that you never
even knew you had like discovering pieces of your mind that access different areas of
your mind that no words that you didn’t even realize you knew like whenever I go to write,
I always tell Bobbi this and I told you guys this before too. Writing for me is probably
my biggest; it’s my most triggering catalyst because when I’m speaking whether it’s speaking
on a stage, speaking on an interview or a podcast like audio or speaking here on video
with you guys every single week just showing up, I have certain ticks and tells and coping
strategies that I use if I get triggered. Humor as a redirect for me is my go to like
I just can just show up as just the silly ridiculous girl that’ll make you laugh and
giggle and might start singing randomly or make weird faces and that is a way for me
to almost distract myself if I’m triggered. Showing up on camera first of all for anyone
I don’t care who you are, is terrifying. It’s terrifying because you’re putting yourself
out there for the world to love or hate or ignore or complain about. We have trolls that
show up every week. We have critics. We have an inner critic, the loudest one so showing
up on video is terrifying in and of itself. And then for us to show up on a topic such
as childhood sexual abuse and then show up as survivors who have lived through sexual
abuse and other forms of abuse, it’s twelve different levels of O.M. G. Are they really
doing this right now and I was even told that at a conference that I presented at all like
how do you get up there and not only get up there and just talk and make it look like
it’s easy but talk about such a sensitive topic and I just had to be real and say “well
when I’m triggered or when I’m having anxiety and I’m scared out of my mind like I’m going
to pee myself, usually I use humor as a redirect because that’s just a coping strategy that
works for me” and I’m pretty good at showing up as the ridiculous girl and Bobbi is the
teacher and she’s the therapist and she’s very serious and very kind and compassionate
but a lot of that is me you know, spoiler alert, a lot of that is me using humor as
a redirect and a coping strategy. Now am I usually fun and funny and all that?
Yeah. I’m not showing up here as someone false. I’m very like very vulnerable and transparent
when I show up with you guys but this is expressive for me and this is community for me. This
is healing for me to show up and bare my soul to you guys and the reason it’s therapeutic
for while it’s not considered an expressive therapy because I am showing up here using
words like Bobbi said it’s accessing the language areas of my brain, the benefit that I get
from showing up here every single week with you guys is that a whole bunch of you, many
of you here right now will leave comments below this video and you’ll just say hi and
say Wow I thought I was all alone or you’ll email us and tell us a story about how you
almost committed suicide and you decided not to because you found our YouTube channel or
you’ll send us a private message of a long beautiful story of where you were three years
ago and then you found us a couple years ago and here you are now and look at the growth
in your life or you’ll mail us gifts and with little handwritten cards and tell us what
differences we’re making in your life and how grateful you are to be a part of the huge
family. That’s the benefit of showing up here every single week and it’s extremely
therapeutic for Bobbi and myself because you guys are what makes this community magical
and amazing and powerful and you guys are the ones that are really changing the world.
We show up and we provide the little link for you to click on but without all of you
with your tweets and your comments and your e-mails and just your love and just shouting
from the rooftops how awesome it is being safe community, Bobbi and I would be stuck
just doing like the other side jobs that we do part time to pay our bills and we wouldn’t
get to do this fun stuff with you so thank you. I didn’t know I was going to get all
emotional and like serious and sensitive and all that but hey this is live. So Bobbi did
you have anything you wanted to add to that or your comments on my little soap box rant
about how special everyone is? Bobbi: I can’t disagree with that. How can
I disagree with the fact that you’re also special?
Athena: I didn’t realize that I was going to go there. Anyway I started off this trying
to tell you guys that it’s okay to use certain things as coping strategies but it really
does just boil down to you guys just being amazing and Mondays are our favorite day of
the week because of you. So we are very excited to present to you an awesome OnePage, my favorite
OnePage that we have ever done here. I don’t even know what number this is, its like number
ninety something almost or maybe it’s one hundred. I have no idea what number this is
but so is my most favorite OnePage that we’ve ever done and you can access it for free over
at traumarecoveryuniversity.com or nomoreshameproject.com. Click on the tab that says Downloadables and
you’ll be given immediate access to this and our entire library which we invite you to
click, print, put it into a binder and use it to heal on your recovery journey and leave
us a comment below if this video has been helpful for you or give it a thumbs up or
share it with someone you know who needs to know that they’re not alone and we’re going
to go ahead and share our OnePage content with you now and we’ll be talking a little
bit more afterwards as well. Bobbi: OK let’s talk OnePage. OK so this month,
this will month of May, we’ve been focusing on types of media, books, video tapes, podcast
that we can use to help ourselves for their recovery. Let’s face it. Not all of us have
the money we need to fund all of the help that we need in our recovery. So having some
ways to do things on our own is pretty darn awesome. So we talked about books the first
week. We talked about videos and podcast last week and this week we’re going to talk about
expressive therapies. So everything we’ve discussed up until this point relies upon
language but there are many things in our experiences that we don’t have words to express.
Sometimes our abuse memories and emotions are buried in places of our brains that don’t
have language abilities and this is especially true if you have abuse that occurred before
you were verbal so say between about the ages of birth and two, two and a half. And right
there in parenthesis says we have a video on OnePage titled pre-verbal memories. But
even if you were abused past that pre-verbal stage, some of memories can be stored in places
where there’s not a language base and that’s just because of the damage done to our brain
and the way our brain, the capacity to store memory. We can use expressive therapy methods
to reach those. Expressive modalities typically don’t require us to use a language to benefit
from their capacity to heal us. Examples of these are music, art, pet therapy, dance,
equine therapy and recreational therapy. Phoenix was talking about how she just took classes
just kick boxing. That is a recreational therapy that allows her to not only process memories
and emotions stored in her body but it’s a great way to get out some anger. All of these
allow us to both express emotions and thoughts while receiving powerful and exponential healing
benefits. Music is one of the most powerful expressive therapies: both listening to and
creating music. We haven’t talked yet tonight about creating music but that can be very,
very powerful as well. Not one of my personal skills. I can make noise but not music.
Okay, so here are some ways that we can use music. We can use music to calm ourselves
and even promote sleep. I can’t count on two hands the number of survivors I have worked
with and I know that use music to help them fall asleep at night. Classical, soothing,
calming music maybe it’s just nature sounds, ocean waves, whatever it is that is calming
for you and then I know some survivors who wear ear buds to sleep and if they wake up
in the night and their ear buds are pulling out, they put them back in so they keep listening
to their music. Music can soothe us when you’re anxious or
upset. One of the things that survivors rarely learn when they’re young is how to self soothe
and so developing tools on soothing as an adult is so important. We have to know how
to soothe our upset and our distress without turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms and
I would just music is something that sooths you, put together a play list and keep it
on hand so that when you start to feel upset, you can play it. It is an excellent self soothing
tool. Music can also let us know only we’re not
alone in what we’re feeling because when you can find someone, who said this morning. Someone
said on the Twitter stream and they shared the song and they said I think the song was
written just for me. Athena: What song was that? I remember someone
saying that. Bobbi: Yeah I don’t remember the song. I listen
to it for a bit but I don’t know who. I wasn’t familiar with the artist but I mean when someone
out there could nail our feelings in a song you know are not alone. You are not alone
and I think that was one of the most powerful things this morning in chat and tonight on
the broadcast is when someone said hey I love ____ song. Oh yeah that’s a great one. You’re
not alone. And music can unite us in that way.
Music can also encourage and lift us up when we’re feeling low or hopeless. That Rachel
platen song and this is my favorite song. I actually found a YouTube video that repeats
it for an hour. Athena: I found one that repeats that for
like eleven hours is like an eleven hour repeat. And that’s ridiculous but it’s really awesome.
Bobbi: Sometimes I never listen to it for eleven hours but sometimes I like having it
on repeat and I can just listen to it and sometimes sing along as terribly as I do and
just it will encourage me and it will inspire me and along that, music can energize us and
motivate us. Athena talked about listening to John Mayer and when she listens to that
John Mayer album which was associated for her marathon training, she knows she can make
healthy choices. Music helps us connect with others in social settings. You have probably
seen this if you have ever been to a concert, church, even a party or a function. I can’t
even begin to imagine that we won’t have some music at our conferences because it is
a huge connector of people. And then last but absolutely not least, is
it gives us the opportunity to express and vent emotions. I have been known to, I don’t
drive just for driving but if I’m driving somewhere and a song comes on the radio that
I like, I make sure the windows are rolled up and I turn the song really, really loud
and I will just sing at the top of my lungs. It is usually not a happy song but maybe something
that helps me get a little bit of frustration and rage. So it allows us to express things
in ways that are acceptable. It’s not hurting anybody, has not ended anybody, has not ended
ourselves or not harming ourselves and so if music can help you do that, then you know
I say go for it repeatedly. And then Art and we’ve been talking about
this. Art is a very potent expressive therapy and allows us to tap into parts of our brain
that language cannot. With art and doesn’t matter what form of art it is, painting, collage,
clay, sculpture, jewelry making, photography, mixed media, mosaics and even down to things
like making a man doll withstand you know like you I have never done it but I have seen
some done and they’re just gorgeous. Anyway that is an artistic form that can be created
without rigid boundaries and standards. Again, it’s the process not the product. For it to
be therapeutic, the art making process is more powerful than the end product.
To use art in healing journey, experiment with different kinds of art. So if you have
always been one to use paint and ink, try paint. If you have always one to be a draw
or whether it’s your paint pen whatever, try working with clay. Do sculpture. Try photography.
Photography is such an easy way to capture images and express things these because most
of us all have cameras on our cellphones, right. Mixed media can be awesome. Just try
different things because I think that different forms of art can access different parts of
our brain and so I encourage you to push the edges of your comfort zone.
Don’t set limits or standards on the end product. Just create without boundaries.
Explore the use of color. Color is one of the neatest parts of art. Some colors convey
a mood or emotion better than others. I can remember, obviously this pained me because
I still remember so many years later. I was in a psychiatric ward and we were doing art
and we were supposed to draw painting and I drew a tree and had a lot of red in it and
the art therapy said, you must be very angry. And I remember looking at it and I don’t
think I’m angry. Maybe I’m angry. I don’t think I’m angry. That sticks in my mind
because I remember how she said that. And we’ve talked about this but art therapy
gets messy. It does get messy. Make art that is big and messy and involves your whole body,
accessing thoughts and feelings toward away in places we’ve never accessed before.
Make art in groups of safe people. Group interaction while creating can be both supportive and
healing. It’s kind of the same component of working one to one with the therapist is good
but sometimes group therapy is good too. So making art one to one just yourself in your
home and safe place is good. Sometimes making our in groups is pretty amazing.
And this last piece is just my caution because I know that for some survivors, different
kinds of textures and odors can be triggering. I have a texture trigger and it’s anything
that’s really sticky that I can’t get off my hands easily. If you could see me right
now, I’m literally wringing my hands as I’m talking about this because I cannot stand
that texture. It is just a sticky gooey. So for me, things like Plato are will send me
to the ceiling rather than being helpful to me but types of clay like Sculpey. Other types
of clay that aren’t sticky like, that I’m fine. So be aware of what your personal triggers
might be and honor those. Don’t force yourself to work in an art modality that’s triggering
for you. There’s no benefit to that whatsoever. And then we have a video and OnePage titled
triggers and the last, we just touch on the last two down here: activities that unlock
movement can be very helpful in accessing trauma stored in our bodies as well as helping
us become more comfortable with and attached to our bodies. And we have the video and OnePage
titled discovering movement. And then pet equine therapy are fantastic ways to engage
with another living creature who offers us trust, compassion and unconditional love.
Sometimes when you’re first starting to heal, it is so hard to trust another human being,
it is so hard to engage positively with another human being. In that place pet therapy is
magic because you can put your trust in this animal that has absolutely nothing to offer
you other than adoration and love. It’s wonderful and it can allow you to feel safe
and grounded and allow you to practice the art of trust in ways that you might not be
able to do with a human being in that moment. So there we go. That’s the OnePage.
Athena: You Tube’s been kind of glitchy tonight you guys. Lindy’s talking about there are
a lot of great adult coloring books out there. We’re putting together an adult coloring
book Lindy and we’re actually gathering submissions from people. We are going to use it as a fundraiser
so that we can get all the survivors together and have a conference. So yes adult coloring
book can be extremely healing and for anyone that was trying to watch live tonight and
you’re only able to watch the replay due to some glitchy issues with YouTube, we’re sorry
about that. We have researched and sort of exhausted ourselves in looking for either
outlets or something comparable to the Google Hangouts on air which renders directly to
your YouTube channel which then goes to our Roku TV channel and we haven’t found anything
that comparable that’s affordable. We could be using Zoom or I think there’s one called
Spreecast or there’s another one called Twenty One Social but they’re all very, very expensive
and of course it’s technology so they’re going to be glitchy as well. So before we transition
our broadcast to the to the portion where we welcome new people in that perhaps have
never been here before and it’s their first time, I just want to throw this out there
to each and every one of you. We’ve had some volunteers step up recently in areas that
we really needed volunteers. We have never done sort of hey if you would like to volunteer
in our community, please let me know. We’ve sort of like mentioned it a couple times in
passing but we never really get a focused sort of reach out and these people somehow
found us and they’re just raised that into leadership positions in volunteering with
our community because we really needed it. So what I’m saying is for any of you that
are looking to volunteer in some way, shape or form, I just want to plant the seed. You
might have the specific gifting or the specific talent that that we need in our community
and there is a chance that unless you reach out and say, hey I would love to be a part
of whatever it is that you’re working on and doing. How can I volunteer? Unless you sort
of step up and say that you’re interested in volunteering, we’re never going to tap
on you and say, hey hi so and so I know you’re a single mom and you work 4 jobs and you don’t
even have time to breathe but you want to volunteer with us like we’re never going to
reach out and ask you unless you message us or email us saying. We have a research intern
and she’s amazing and she e-mailed us and said, I’m looking for an intern position.
I’m not looking for a paid position. I’m looking to be an intern. I’m transitioning. This is
the portion my life where I just am wanting to gain some life skills and I want to be
able to have to volunteer as an intern and we interviewed her and she fits a very specific
skill set that we were looking for and we brought her on and we’re getting all of our
professional e-mails set up in the week, this coming week and we’re really excited to be
moving full steam ahead with this initiative of reaching one billion survivors globally.
So we’re seventy countries in and we’re going to keep on going and we’re not going to stop
so if you are looking for a way to volunteer your time, even if it’s just one hour a week
or one hour a month or whatever, something that’s totally on your spare time, then please
reach out to us at [email protected] and let us know if you’re interested in being
an intern because we could interview you and see what it is that you love and if it fits
the construct of what it is that we’re looking for and we would love to have you. So safe
people, predators not welcome obviously. Bobbi, did you want to add anything to that before
we transition our broadcast or did you want to say anything to everybody before we go
all of our normal people that are always here. Bobbi: I agree with Athena. We do so much
ourselves but unless we have other people that are going to come on board, we won’t
be able to get the numbers that we want to get so we really appreciate the people who
have come on board and share some tremendous gifts and talents with us and if you have
gifts and talents and time, please, reach out to us and let us know so we can see if
there’s something that you have, a giftedness you have that matches with something that
we need. We would really appreciate and thank you to everyone who’s here. Hopefully we’ll
have someone who can go back through the different Twitter chats that we do this week. Tomorrow
night is the last one and gather all the songs together and help us make a list so that we
can play them. Athena: Matt offered to take that genra of
eighty’s rock music. So if you have a certain genra you want to like volunteer your time
to help create a survivor playlist, then by all means please let us know. We’re creating
an e-book or survivors of with all kinds of different multimedia, reading, music, book
e-books videos podcasts, all types of multimedia or earth survivors. So I just want to say
very, very heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you that decided to show up live.
It’s always a joy to see you here on the Twitter feed just supporting one another. The support
that you guys give one another on a weekly basis is nothing short of beautiful miraculous
in our eyes. We could have never dreamed that deciding to start a YouTube channel, we would
be able to interact with you, watch you supporting one another and watch the growth that you’ve
experienced on your healing journey throughout the time that we’ve been together just over
the last couple years. So thank you for allowing us to be a part of your lives and for spending
this last hour or so with us. We’re going to transition and welcome all of the new people
in and let them know how they can get plugged in to safe community and how it is that they
can contact us aside from leaving a comment below this video. We want to make sure everybody
has our Facebook information, Twitter and our e-mail addresses. So thank you so much
for being here and if you are brand new and want to stick around, we invite you to stick
around with us. We have some awesome screen shares will probably be just about ten to
fifteen minutes maximum so but thanks everybody for being here with us Mondays our favorite
day of the week because of you. I think Bobbi has a couple screen shares.
Bobbi: I do. I do. I do. Athena: Did I rush you?
Bobbi: You did not rush me. I am multitasking and sometimes the multitasking
brain has limits. So we have safe community on both Twitter and Facebook which you are
more than welcome to join us on. These are free, they’re always will be free, never
will be any charge for these. On Twitter we have three Twitter chats a week. You can join
us at one or all three or two, whatever it is that meets your needs. Monday at 10AM Pacific
Time, 6PM in the UK. The hashtag is #CSAQT and that stands for child sexual abuse question
time. And then Monday evening which is the live Twitter and video broadcast which you’re
watching right now either as a replay or live. The hashtag for that is #nomoreshame and it
is at 6PM Pacific, 9 Eastern and Tuesday at 2:00 in the morning. And then Tuesday evening
at 6PM Pacific, 9:00 Eastern see the pattern there, Wednesday at 2:00 in the morning is
the final Twitter chat of the week and that is sex abuse chat hashtag #sexabusechat.
And then we have multiple Facebook support groups and we will be starting more because
they’re growing exponentially. If you would like to join one of our secret Facebook groups,
they are entirely private. Even if you go to Facebook and you search for them, they
will not pop up. We ask that you follow this four step process and the first thing we ask
you to do is to like the Trauma Recovery University page and will show that URL to you on the
next screen share. And then send friend requests to both Athena and we ask you to send them
to both of us because we’re both in two different time zones, we have two different schedules
so one of us is going to be able to get to you sooner than the other. So send us friend
requests and then after we have accepted your friend request not before because if you do
it before, it goes into that horrible other folder and we get no notifications there’s
anything in. Athena: I hate the other folder.
Bobbi: Other folder is our nemesis. Athena: I feel terrible when I see everybody
in there I’m like oh my gosh it’s been in there since November of 2014.
Bobbi: Yes. So after we accept you for a request, send us a message saying something like I’d
like heal in safe community. I’d like to join one of your support groups and if we
do not already know you from a live event or from Facebook or from Twitter chat or from
this broadcast, we will ask you some questions and that is because we’re trying to create
and we have created safe spaces for survivors and we want to make sure that no one gets
into the safe spaces that are predatory that will threaten that safety. So if we ask you
questions, please don’t be offended. It isn’t because you appear to be shifty or we think
you’re a liar. It’s because we’re trying to protect the safety of the group and when you
are admitted into the group and you can partake of that safety, we will continue to do that
with people who come after you so you can have that safe space to enjoy. So after we’ve
questioned you, after we’ve gotten the information we need, we will get you plugged in to one
of our support groups. Now, I’m going to share the ways
Athena: Laura has volunteered to go back and collect all of the music, movies and books
and all of that so I’m going to connect her with Maggie because Maggie has that media
list that she’s already like working on but how amazing is that going to be. I mean we
are going to have all of these resources to give someone. Oh my God.
Bobbi: I think that’s wonderful. This is why we’re doing this because you and I didn’t
have this and we want others to have this. Okay. So here we go: ways to contact us. If
you would like to connect with us on e-mail you can write us at [email protected],
[email protected] and then [email protected] If you would like to connect with us on Twitter,
I am @BobbiLParish, Athena is @AthenaMoberg and Trauma Recovery University is @TraumaRecoveryU,
capitals don’t matter. Jump over to the right and you can see that we talk about places
where you can see the replays of the videos and all he had to do is go to YouTube, Roku
TV or Google plus and do a search for Trauma Recovery University.
Any time you can come and watch videos down here in the right hand side and just see this.
So we have a shortcut link that is bit.ly/TraumaRecoveryU and the capitals on that one do matter. If
you would like to connect with us on Facebook, the Facebook page for Trauma RecoveryUniversity
is Facebook.com/TraumaRecoveryUniversity. Bobbi Parish Coaching and Consulting is my
professional page. Bobbi Parish is my personal page. Athena Moberg Speaking is her professional
page and Dawn Athena Moberg is her personal page and those are the ways that you can connect
with us. Athena: Yeah. I’m just saying goodnight
to everybody. Everybody’s saying goodnight. Tracy was just saying bye to us as well. She
said that we are awesome peeps and we make her heart and her hips feel better. Tracey
just had surgery on a broken femur holy moly and she is our conference planner, extraordinary
work. Oh my gosh and other volunteers, we have Matt, we have Maggie, I’m getting ready
to meet with Cimmy who’s going to be gathering some entries for the adult coloring book.
We just so blessed. We have a whole bunch of volunteers that are helping doing our moderating
and we haven’t like ramp them up and on board of them fully. They’re helping with our Facebook
groups and our YouTube comments and e-mails. They’re going to be helping us out in some
of the other capacities because Bobbi and I are just two humans two one two humans,
we’re two humans and there are one billion survivors. So that leaves half a billion for
Bobbi and half a billion for me and that’s impossible. So we need you, lovely amazing
survivors to come help us reach a billion people with a message of hope and healing.
So there’s a call to action. Not only should you give this video a thumbs up if it helped
you but subscribe to our channel and let us know in an e-mail over at [email protected]
or over in the About section of our YouTube channel and let us know how you would love
to help us reach one billion survivors globally. So it is an honor to be here with you every
single week. Thank you for showing up. You are the reason this community is incredible
and magical and life changing. Bobbi, did you want to say anything.
Bobbi: I’m getting a kick out of Laura volunteering to do the music and I told her that Edna would
be the official play list mascot. Athena: Oh yes most definitely because Edna’s
adorable. Just in our survivor community alone, we have some amazing pet therapy and her horse
is beautiful too and then of course, Mia. Mia is a beautiful kitty. And oh and there’s
a turtle too and why am I forgetting flash. Flash is Matt turtle’s name. I had a turtle
named Sweety and a dog named Duce. Bobbi has Copper and Silver.
Bobbi: Can you see the theme? Athena: Right. But you guys thank you. Bobbi
and I are so honored to be here with you every single week and we look forward to this. We
really do. I know we say it so often but thank you, thank you for being here with us every
single week and we will see you next Monday 6PM Pacific, 9PM Eastern live right here exactly
where you’re at right now or you can watch a replay twenty four seven three sixty five
or reach out to us, go over to the About section of our YouTube channel and find out how to
get plugged in to safe community if you missed that portion of the video for some reason
but this is Bobbi Parrish and I’m Athena Moberg and we love bringing you everything
you need for healthy inform trauma recovery and we will see you very, very soon. Bye everybody.

3 thoughts on “Music and Expressive Therapies”

  1. So if you are translating your shows from English to another language does this mean that my language app won't do that for you ? I live in a place where a lot of people a significant amount of people do not speak English but using my language apps it will translate whatever language I want languages that are within the app . I'm not super knowledgable of the Internet I've only been on it for three years

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